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Does your Monte have Too Much Horsepower?

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  #1  
Old 03-27-2008 | 09:16 PM
Cowboy6622's Avatar
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Default Does your Monte have Too Much Horsepower?

Hi guys... does your Monte Carlo have too much horsepower. Here is a checklist I got from www.musclecarclub.com that will help you to determine if you have too much horsepower or not



[/color]YOU MIGHT HAVE TO MUCH HORSEPOWER IF ... (ones in red apply to me

1. The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the rollers.
2. You can't drive your car in the rain.
3. Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your car.
4. You are afraid to drive your car.
5. You spend more on tires than on food.
6. You spend more on car insurance than on house payments.
7. You look in a state police car and see a picture of your car taped to the dash.
8. You throw your underwear in the garbage rather than the hamper.
9. You have to go to the track to buy gas.
10. Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you.
11. Jacques Villeneuve and Michael Schumacher wave you by.
12. You can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.
13. You're tempted to wear your fire suit just to drive to the office.
14. Red signal lights shift to green as you're approaching then shift back to red as you're receding.
15. You arrive somewhere before you left.
16. You get pulled over for doing 155 in a 35 but the cops will let you go if "they can look under the hood."
17. You remove the $2000 stereo system to save 6 lb. of weight.
18. You are not allowed to run in the Silver State Challenge.
19. You get an anonymous phone call asking if you are interested in being in the Cannonball Run.
20. Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you drive the car.
22. You need parachute braking.
23. Your 'significant other' won't even ride in the car.
24. There is no possible way to "sneak out" of your neighborhood at 6 am.
25. Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage door is opened. (Pets, and all the neighbors...)
26. Family photos throughout the house are replaced with life-sized posters of your car.
27. Fuel is delivered to your home: in 55 gallon drums!
28. You carry earplugs in your car.(doesn't everybody???) (straight pipes are nice
29. The only spot on the car which receives any regular cleaning is the windshield. (what else is there to clean???)
30. You find out that side mirrors don't hold up at speeds exceeding 145 mph.
31. Young children cling to their mommies in fear when you round the corner.
32. Birds fall out of their nests from the rumble of your 5" dual exhaust.
33. All the major Tire makers are sending you free slicks in hopes of endorsment deal.
34. The UPS guy took to taking Steroids so he could keep up with your shipments.
35. The Fed Ex guy had a nervous breakdown.
36. All the wildlife within a 800ft radius around your house got the HELLOUT.
37. The nearest Geological Seismic Surveying Station Operator knows your address by heart.
38. A booming voice greets potential passengers with, "That's right ....you paid for the whole seat but you'll only need the EDGE.
39. The earth slows in rotation when you hook up on your new slicks and head east.
40. You have to screw your slicks to the wheels.
41. Your exhaust pipes are larger in diameter than your driveline.
42. Your fuel pump flows enough to water a golf course.
43. Your compression's high enough you could run diesel fuel.
44. The sparks from your wheelie bars start grass fires on the side of the road.
45. Your engine idles at 2800 rpm.
46. You measure the fuel you use in "gallons per mile."
[/color]


Of 46 possibilities, like 8 apply to me. I need more horsepower


[b]YOU MIGHT BE A RACER IF ... [color=#ff0000](Ones in red ap
 
  #2  
Old 03-27-2008 | 09:18 PM
Cowboy6622's Avatar
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Default RE: Does your Monte have Too Much Horsepower

Can a moderator edit the poll to allow multiple selections please thanks
 
  #3  
Old 03-27-2008 | 09:45 PM
scc24540's Avatar
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 2,576
From: wouldnt u like to know
Default RE: Does your Monte have Too Much Horsepower

there is no such thing as too much horsepower
 
  #4  
Old 03-27-2008 | 09:56 PM
76MonteMan's Avatar
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 340
From: Portland, Oregon
Default RE: Does your Monte have Too Much Horsepower?

I'd like to be able to squeezy another 30 horses out of my 76 Monte's engine. I'm at about 350 horses right now. If I slapped on a pair of GM Performance Parts Vortec heads I'd be able to gain that extra 30 horses. Using your lists, the red applies to me.

YOU MIGHT HAVE TO MUCH HORSEPOWER IF ...

1. The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the rollers.
2. You can't drive your car in the rain.
3. Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your car.
4. You are afraid to drive your car.
5. You spend more on tires than on food.
6. You spend more on car insurance than on house payments.
7. You look in a state police car and see a picture of your car taped to the dash.
8. You throw your underwear in the garbage rather than the hamper.
9. You have to go to the track to buy gas.
10. Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you.
11. Jacques Villeneuve and Michael Schumacher wave you by.
12. You can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.
13. You're tempted to wear your fire suit just to drive to the office.
14. Red signal lights shift to green as you're approaching then shift back to red as you're receding.
15. You arrive somewhere before you left.
16. You get pulled over for doing 155 in a 35 but the cops will let you go if "they can look under the hood."
17. You remove the $2000 stereo system to save 6 lb. of weight.
18. You are not allowed to run in the Silver State Challenge.
19. You get an anonymous phone call asking if you are interested in being in the Cannonball Run.
20. Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you drive the car.
22. You need parachute braking.
23. Your 'significant other' won't even ride in the car.
24. There is no possible way to "sneak out" of your neighborhood at 6 am.
25. Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage door is opened. (Pets, and all the neighbors...)
26. Family photos throughout the house are replaced with life-sized posters of your car.
27. Fuel is delivered to your home: in 55 gallon drums!
28. You carry earplugs in your car.(doesn't everybody???) (straight pipes are nice
29. The only spot on the car which receives any regular cleaning is the windshield. (what else is there to clean???)
30. You find out that side mirrors don't hold up at speeds exceeding 145 mph.
31. Young children cling to their mommies in fear when you round the corner.
32. Birds fall out of their nests from the rumble of your 5" dual exhaust.
33. All the major Tire makers are sending you free slicks in hopes of endorsment deal.
34. The UPS guy took to taking Steroids so he could keep up with your shipments.
35. The Fed Ex guy had a nervous breakdown.
36. All the wildlife within a 800ft radius around your house got the HELLOUT.
37. The nearest Geological Seismic Surveying Station Operator knows your address by heart.
38. A booming voice greets potential passengers with, "That's right ....you paid for the whole seat but you'll only need the EDGE.
39. The earth slows in rotation when you hook up on your new slicks and head east.
40. You have to screw your slicks to the wheels.
41. Your exhaust pipes are larger in diameter than your driveline.
42. Your fuel pump flows enough to water a golf course.
43. Your compression's high enough you could run diesel fuel.
44. The sparks from your wheelie bars start grass fires on the side of the road.
45. Your engine idles at 2800 rpm.
46. You measure the fuel you use in "gallons per mile.



[b]YOU MIGHT BE A RACER IF ...
 
  #5  
Old 03-27-2008 | 10:04 PM
Cowboy6622's Avatar
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Fallen to the Dark Side - Resident Ford Man
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Default RE: Does your Monte have Too Much Horsepower?

how did i miss the "You have enough spare parts to build another car"

yeah, if they were for the same car and all working, we would!!! My dad has enough crap laying around outside the garage... most of its for 18 wheelers though.
 
  #6  
Old 03-28-2008 | 12:25 AM
Taz's Avatar
Taz

Monte Of The Month -- March 2014
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Joined: Aug 2007
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From: Windsor
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Default RE: Does your Monte have Too Much Horsepower

ORIGINAL: scc24540

there is no such thing as too much horsepower
Chris dude, you took my answer.

I actually looked for that choice in the poll, but had to settle for "I need more hp".

BTW... I changed the poll to allow for multiple selections like you asked.

If someone, especially a significant other, is too afraid to drive your car, that could be a good thing. Not crazy about others driving my car. I also don't like driving other people's cars unless ABSOLUTELY necessary.

 
  #7  
Old 03-29-2008 | 08:00 AM
RocknSS04's Avatar

Monte Of The Month -- August 2007
5 Year Member3 Year Member1 Year Member
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 5,231
Default RE: Does your Monte have Too Much Horsepower

NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH HORSE POWER! Zoomer from ZZPerformance has 900+ hp in his GP!
 
  #8  
Old 03-29-2008 | 08:47 AM
BeachBumMike's Avatar
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 16,095
From: SpaceCoast, Florida
Default RE: Does your Monte have Too Much Horsepower?

[align=center]Human's are Creative,[/align][align=center]you can never have enough Power : )[/align][align=center]There's always a way to find more....[/align][align=center][:-]SpaceRocketCar [:-][/align][align=center][/align]
SpaceRocket Fuel is very Xpensive
 
  #9  
Old 03-29-2008 | 10:18 AM
07MonteSS's Avatar
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 267
From:
Default RE: Does your Monte have Too Much Horsepower

ORIGINAL: RocknSS04

NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH HORSE POWER! Zoomer from ZZPerformance has 900+ hp in his GP!

AMEN
 
  #10  
Old 03-30-2008 | 07:03 PM
rj's Avatar
rj
5 Year Member3 Year Member1 Year Member
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 6,482
From: Southwestern OH
15 Year Member
Default RE: Does your Monte have Too Much Horsepower

[*]You sit in your race car in a dark garage and make car noises and shift and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop. (I'm weird, I know)[*]You have enough spare parts to build another car.[*]More than one racer supply store recognizes your voice and greets you by name when you call.



Which one of you has been talking about me? [sm=icon_rofl.gif]

But does my Monte(s) have too much HP? NO WAY!!!!



 
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