Phooney.

Say can I get the girl in the MindReadingphoto's phone number?

I think I found her underwear? )

 

[align=center]Mothers Advice to their Daughters: [/align][align=center][/align][align=center][:-]




1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.





7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes; it means that you laugh at his.

15. Sadly, all men are created equal[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]
[/align][align=center]
[hr]
[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]
[/align][align=center]Women think they already know everything, but wait ...[/align][align=center]training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:[/align][align=center][/align][font="verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif"][align=center]1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits[/align][align=center]3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game[/align][align=center][/align][align=center][b][color

 

lol...those are good

 

Ralph Goes To Heaven
Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ralph.'
Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'
Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'
'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don 't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'
'Never,' said Ralph.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout.....
'Dammit, Ralph! Wake up. You're sh********* in the bed!'

 

[align=center]Numbuh Two `Joke : ) [/align][align=center][/align][align=center]U should be ashamed of yourself : )[/align][align=center]Don't U know that there are children like me][/align][align=center]reading these post ? : ) [/align][align=center]That joke was just `Zhitty : )[/align]

 

I need a copy of that handbook for women.

I just have to convince my g/f to read it and do NOT use it to prop up the chair with the broken leg with it.

 

First Day A man in a taxi taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screams bloody murder, loses control of the cab, and swerves onto the sidewalk before stopping just inches from a lamppost.

After checking to make sure the passenger is OK, the driver says, “I’m sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.”

“Sorry. I didn’t realize a simple tap on the shoulder would freak you out so much,” the passenger says.

“It’s not your fault,” replies the cabbie. “Today is my first day on the job after 25 years of driving a hearse.”[/align]

 

[align=center][/align][align=center]Hey `Mod Wiz, where are you driving us to ?[align=center] [/align][align=center][/align][/align]
[align=center][/align]
[align=center][/align][align=center][/align][align=center][:-]Click link below [:-][/align][align=center] http://www.hearsedriver.com/[/align][align=center] [/align][align=center]LOL ~ LOL[/align][align=center][/align]

 

Operation


A beautiful young woman about to undergo a minor operation is lying on a gurney in a hospital corridor awaiting the medical staff.

A man in a white coat approaches her, lifts up the sheet, and visually examines her naked body. He walks away and confers with another man in a white coat. The second man then approaches the girl and performs the same examination.

When a third man approaches her, she asks impatiently, “These examinations are fine, but when are you going to start the operation?”

He shrugs and says, “Your guess is as good as mine, lady. We’re just here to paint the halls.”[/align]