[align=center][/align][align=center]Members - Post your `Joke[/align][align=center](Must comply with MCF rules)[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]Warning[/align][align=center]Some `Jokes may have ADULT THEME[/align][align=center]Something 2 read after you've read[/align][align=center]everything else & Hopefully [/align][align=center][/align][align=center]Laugh [/align][align=center][/align][align=center][/align][align=center][/align][align=center]How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one... but the light bulb has to want to change.[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]__________________________________________[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody knew that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done. [/align][align=center]_________________________________[/align][align=center][/align][align=center][/align][align=center]

Wish you `Happiness[/align][align=center]Wish U a Smile[/align][align=center][sm=happybounce.gif][/align][align=center]Members, your turn to Post[/align][align=center]* Only `if your have read all the post topic's[/align][align=center]first : )[/align][align=center][/align]

 

LMAO! love the first one ...the bulb has to want to..lol



Jewish Wedding
A modern, Orthodox, Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding, meets with their rabbi for counseling.

The rabbi asks if they have any last questions before they leave.

The man asks, "Rabbi, we realize
it's tradition for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women at the reception. But, we'd like your permission to dance together."

"Absolutely not," says the rabbi. "It's immodest.Men and women always dance separately."

'So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"

"No," answered the rabbi. "It's forbidden."

"Well, okay," says the man, "what about sex?

Can we finally have sex?"

"Of course!" replies the rabbi. "Sex is a mitzvah (good thing) within marriage, to have children!"

"What about different positions?" asks the man.

"No problem," says the rabbi. "It's a mitzvah!"

"Woman on top?" the man asks.
"Sure," says the rabbi. "Go for it! It's a mitzvah!"

"Doggy style?"

"Sure! Another mitzvah!"

"On the kitchen table?"

"Yes, yes! A mitzvah!"

"Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"

"You may indeed. It's all a mitzvah!"

"Can we do it standing up?"

"No." says the rabbi."

"Why not?" asks the man.

"It could lead to dancing!"[/align]

 

[align=center]Mitzvah - Mitzvah : )[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]Was that a G Rated Joke : )[/align][align=center]LMAO[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]Oh - Oh[/align]

 

A Doctor, a Minister, and an Engineer decided to play a game of golf one afternoon.They went to an upscale country club to play their game.

The first two holes went well,but on the third hole they were held up waiting for a group of about ten golfers.They waited patiently,but the group ahead of them was really slow and having all kinds of problems hitting the ball,etc.

This continued on the fourth,fifth and sixth holes as well.Finally,the three of them went to complain to the manager.The manager explained to them that the large group in front of them were volunteer firefighters that lost their sight fighting a terrible blaze at the clubhouse years ago.The club let these blind firefighters play golf there for free whenever they chose to just to show their appreciation for their sacrifice.

Hearing this story,the Minister said "Those poor brave men.This Sunday I will have my congregation say a special prayer for them."

The Doctor said "I will check with the best eye specialists I know of to see if something can be done to restore their sight."

The Engineer said " WHY can't these guys play at NIGHT??????"

 

lol! hey, yah why not? haha...they could play @ night! hahah

 

[align=center]DAVID,. . . LOL . . . , the Beach Gang gives you[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]TWO THUMBS `UP [sm=smiley20.gif] [sm=smiley20.gif][/align][align=center][/align][align=center] [/align][align=center][/align][align=center]Love the `punch line "Why can't these guys play @ night ? : )"[/align][align=center][/align][align=center][/align][align=center][/align][align=center]Thanks for Post'in [/align][align=center]Gang is LOL[/align][align=center][/align]

 

[align=center]How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one... but the light bulb has to want to change.[/align][align=center][/align][align=center][/align][align=center]...But `Doc, I don't want to change[/align][align=center]I'm bright & lite up people's[/align][align=center]life.[/align][align=center]....So, U think your `Bright ?[/align][align=center]....Yes, I emit a soft beautiful glow whenever I'm on [/align][align=center]....So you like being `Turned on ?[/align][align=center]How does that make your `FEEL ?[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]....Yes, I love it when people turn me on : ) I love it when[/align][align=center]they pull my Chain or flick my Switch [/align][align=center][/align][align=center]....On....Off....On....off ..Off...`OFF : ) Oh WoW....[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]....Stop it `Doc..U turn me `off[/align][align=center]I don't want 2 change...[/align][align=center]Doc, I think U are burned `out ![/align][align=center][/align][align=center][align=center]....On....Off....On....off ..Off...`OFF : ) Oh WoW....[/align][/align][align=center][/align]

 

[align=center][/align][align=center][/align][align=center]Near the end of their racing careers, a Ford and a Chevrolet made a pact. The first one to reach racing heaven would let the other know if heaven even had car racing.[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]As luck would have it, the Chevrolet was demolished in a fiery wreck. A few days later, it revealed itself to the Ford in a vision. [/align][align=center][/align][align=center]"I have some good news and some bad news," the Chevy told the Ford. [/align][align=center][/align][align=center]"The good news is that heaven is crazy about auto racing. They have everything here--NASCAR, Indy cars, Formula 1, you name it." [/align][align=center][/align][align=center]"So what's the bad news?" the Ford asked the deceased Chevrolet.[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]"The bad news is that you've won the pole position herefor next Saturday's race."[/align][align=center]
[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]Wish you `Happiness[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]No Ricer's permitted : )[/align][align=center][/align][align=center][/align][align=center][X(][X(][X(][/align][align=center]Where are the Ricer's suppose to go ?[/align][align=center][sm=badbadbad.gif][/align][align=center]Come down here Ricer's[/align][align=center]we have some very Hot Rac'in : )[/align]

 

The Schitt Family
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says,

'You don't know Jack Schitt!'

Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.

Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt,

And they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.

Two of the other six chidren, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.

He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt[/align]

 

[align=center]Mod `Wiz Kidd, your post joke was a Crock O. Schitt [/align][align=center]LMAO[/align][align=center][:-][/align][align=center][]...Oh Schitt[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]Come on `Member's U can post funnier `Schitt then that : )[/align][align=center]LOL[/align]
[/align][align=center]
[/align]