lmao @ chris lol...


AUNT NANCY ! NO!! NO!! DONT DRINK!! LOL

 

 

thank you thank you i much deserve it LMAO

but yeah STOP IT AUNT NANCY NO PLEASE NOT THE VODKA NO AUNT NANCY NOT THAT NOOO DONT SHOOT ME THERE!?!!!!!!


hahahahaha

 

REDNECK MAN'S PICK UP LINES


>
>REDNECK MAN'S PICK UP LINES
>
>1) Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away.
>
>2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.
>
>3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea -- I can't hold it in.
>
>4) Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to sign you out.
>
>5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em.
>
>6) If you was a tree I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.
>
>7) You might not be the best lookin girl here but, beauty's only a
> light switch away.
>
>8) Redneck says - "Fat Penguin!" Woman says - "WHAT?"
>Redneck says- "I just wanted to say something that would break the
>ice."
>
>9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer
>bed-rock.
>
>10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him?
>I think he went inta this motel room.
>
>11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
>
>12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep till
>afternoon.

and.... the best for last!
>
>13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my
>nuts tighten up.

 

warning**** mild language***



Local Hero


A young Florida football player was viciously attacked by a pit bull while practicing with a friend in his yard one warm September afternoon. His friend witnessed the bloody attack and quickly inserted the blade of his stick between the dog and its collar. With a snap of his wrist, he broke the dog's neck and saved his friend from certain death.

A local reporter, driving by the field saw what happened and quickly parked and attended to the 2 boys. He immediately began writing a story for the newspaper. Scribbling furiously, he penned, "Local Buccaneers fan saves pal from vicious dog". The young lad who saved his friend commented that he was not a Buccaneers fan. The reporter changed the headline to "Local Dolphins fan saves friend from vicious dog".

The young lad again explained that he was not a Dolphins fan but a fan of the New York Jets. The reporter stared in disbelief at the child hero and after some time, changed the headline to read, "Dirty little Yankee bastard from New York murders beloved family pet."[/align]

 

[align=center]The Judge[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]
prison or freedom...
[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]




Two guys (RJ & Cain)were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge.

The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and pursuade them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."


Monday, theRJ & Cainwere in court, and the judge said to RJ,

"How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."

"17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O &o and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."


"That's admirable," said the judge. "And `Cain, how did you do?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."

"156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that Cain!"

"Well, I used the same two circles. I pointed to the small circle [/align][align=center][/align][align=center][/align][align=center]~>o and told them, 'This is your azz-hole before prison.... & this is your A-hole after O"[/align][align=center][/align][align=center][/align][align=center] [/align][align=center][/align][align=center]Only a couple went out and committed crimes Judge, but the[/align][align=center]others said that theywon't do drugs : )[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]Cain was found later smok'in, & singingoutside the courthouse, like he wanted[/align][align=center]to get caught : ) He now is confined with the other prisoner's : )[/align][align=center]and lived happier ever after.[:'(][][/align][align=center]RJ is tak'in good care of his Monte : ) (jk)[/align][align=center]-The End-[/align][align=center]Don't do drugs, or you to could be [/align][align=center]RearEnded [/align][align=center][/align][align=center][/align][align=center][/align][align=center][/align]

 

 

lmao!!!!

 

LMAO...


You guys need a life. (hahahahaha)