3 Detectives Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol.

The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said,
"So y'all want to be cops, huh?"

The blondes all nodded.

The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder.
Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said,
"To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice
things such as distinguishing features and oddities, such as scars and so forth."

So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds.
"Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?"

The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"

The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture!
It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"

The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds,
pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?"

"Yes! He only has one ear!"

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed,
"Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face!
Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused too!"

The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said,
"This is probably a waste of time, but..." He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it,
saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."

The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder.

He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts!
How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."[/align]

 

Family Holiday

Q: Moms have Mother’s Day and dads have Father’s Day. What do single guys have?

A: Palm Sunday.

 

 

You're a Hooker

A guy is on a date with this girl, so he takes her to Lover's Lane.

When they get up there, she says, 'I have to be honest with you, I'm a hooker.' The guy thinks about this for a short time and says it's okay. He agrees to pay her $25 and they start having sex.

After they finish, the guy says, 'I have to be honest with you now. I'm a cab driver and it'll cost you $25 for me to drive you back into town.'

 

[align=center][/align][align=center][/align][align=center][/align][align=center]I'm not a Dumb Cab Driver [/align][align=center][/align][align=center][:-][/align][align=center][/align][align=center]Good-bye[/align][align=center]Thank you Mr Cab Driver[/align][align=center]I'll walk back : )[/align][align=center]__________________________[/align][align=center]Mod `Wiz Kidd[/align][align=center]( I never knew that Wiz use to be a Cab Driver : )[/align][align=center]LOL ~ LOL[/align][align=center]Another great one : )[/align]

 

[align=center]Nice One [:-][/align][align=center][/align][align=center][:-]Now, that's `art : )[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]A little help from my friends : ) [:-][/align][align=center][/align][align=center]Wish the viewer a `Happy Day[/align][align=center]~Peace~[/align]

 

lol, cute pics

 

A man was shot and killed by a police officer after he pumped his own gas in Oregon. After filling up his vehicle he apparently spilled some fuel onto the sleeve of his shirt. After departing from the gas station he attempted to light a cigarette and caught his arm on fire. When the police arrived they found him flailing his arms around in a panic. That's when the officer shot and killed him. When the officer was asked why he shot the man, he replied "He was waving a fire arm."

A customer that frequents the gas station I work at told me this joke. I thought it was pretty good because he presented it as though it actually happened.

 

[align=center][/align][align=center]Members, please make sure you listen, before you act : )[/align][align=center][:-][/align][align=center][/align][align=center][/align][align=center][/align][align=center][:-][/align][align=center][/align][align=center]"Guns can eliminate problems, but there is a cost"[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]It's funny, that I'm happier serving life in jail.[/align]

 

A Farmer and His Mule


An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From
morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining
about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out
plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the
field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and
began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him
again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her
smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather
odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen
for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner
approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in
disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the
old farmer about it.

So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him
why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his
head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something
about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my
head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked.

"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."[/align]