[align=center] [/align][align=center][align=center]uch!!!![/align][/align][align=center]RJ......U.R. Funny.......THANKS![/align][align=center]The Beach Bum's[/align]

 

Wiz,
Great rooster joke. My g/f has the kitchen decorated in roosters. I need to tell her this joke. [sm=smiley20.gif]

Space,
Your answers are just as funny as the jokes.

[sm=happybounce.gif]

 

How is it that you can sue a cigarette company for cancer
and
McDonlds for getting fat.
but you cant sue Budweiser for all the ugly people you screw?

 

 

lol

 

Not a joke............

I heard a couple was awarded $21 million cause their baby was born handicapped. They stated if they'd have known they would have aborted it. I guess they already have one handicapped child?

 

why would you be given 21million $ if your baby is handicapt, thats wierd

 

Guess they sued the doctor who said the baby was normal?

To me it's just says, "Watch out anyone who's special cause mom & dad can scrap you at any time if they feel like it.

 

[align=center]RJ, that's tooooooooooo SAD [X(][/align][align=center]____________________________
_______________________
_[/align][align=center][/align][align=center][/align][align=center]
One Liners


My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate. [/align][align=center]
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.[/align][align=center]
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.[/align][align=center]
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.[/align][align=center]
I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]
Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.[/align][align=center]
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.
So then I got a job in a gymnasium (work-out-center), but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
[color=#cc0000][font="verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif"][size=2][b]M

 

[align=center]I've Learned[/align][align=center][align=center][/align]

"I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just azz-holes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more f--ked up than you think.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place, or she better give you her 07 Monte SS

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones who do.

I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.

I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

I've learned to say "F--k 'em if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.

MCF Member's ~ What have you learned ?
Post `it : )[/align]