Italian Worker An Italian man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question," the foreman said.
"Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

"Without numbers?" the Italian says, "Dat is easy." And he proceeds to draw three trees.

"What's this?" the boss asks.

"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Italian.

"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."

The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree.

"Ere you go."

The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."

The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Italian, so he says, "All right, last question.
Same rules again, but represent the number 100."

The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."

The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"

The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog came along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, dat make one hundred. So, when I start?"[/align]

 

 

Proud to be a Swede
A Swede is drinking in a bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar announcing his wife had produced a
typical Swedish baby boy weighing 25 pounds.
Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Swede just shrugs, "That's about average back home, folks......like I said, my boy's a typical Swedish baby boy."
Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "WOW"....one woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.
Two weeks later he returns to the bar.
The bartender says, "Say you're the father of that typical Swedish baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. So how much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
The bartender is puzzled, concerned, and a little suspicious. "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!"
The Swedish father takes a long swig of Aquavit, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says.....
"We had him circumcised."

 

[align=center]`Chris, thanks for entertaining the BeachGang this `morn : )[/align]

[hr][align=center]This little 7 year old boy named `Wizwas sitting at his desk in school and he was squirming and squirming around. Finally the teacher asksWiz what is wrong.
Wiz tells her he is sore because he just got circumsised yesterday.[X(]

She tellsWiz to go and see the principal.Wiz Kid goes to the principal and comes back 5 minutes later with his ***** hanging out of his fly.

The teacher is outraged and asked`Wiz Kidthe meaning of this type of behaviour.

Wiz Kidsays "The principal asked me to see if I could stick it out until the end of [/align][align=center]the school day"!!!!! [/align][align=center][sm=hail.gif][sm=happybounce.gif][sm=hail.gif][/align][align=center]Wiz is all grown up now, & he's still stick'in it out [/align][align=center]
[/align]

 

 

ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

lmao!!!!

 

finally found out what causes crash's

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/26883/

 

lmao

yup that would do it for me too