LMAO!! i want a seasons pass haha

 

good one 'Space... i've heard many many many jokes in my time.. hadn't heard that one yet thanks

 

A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are all stranded on an island. They are about 15 miles from the mainland, which is in site. They sit around for about a week before the brunette says "I'm tired of sitting here waiting on a rescue... I'm going to swim for the shore". With that, she jumps in the water and heads for the shore. She makes it about 4 miles before she says "I can't go anymore" and drowns. The redhead stays another 2 days before saying "I'm tired of sitting around waiting on a rescue too, I'm going to swim for the shore." She makes it about 6 miles before saying "I can't go anymore" and drowns. The blonde sits on the island a week... she just doesn't know what to do. Anotehr week passes and she says "I've had enough of being alone, I'm going to try for the shore as well." The blonde does good.. she swims 14 miles, she's getting tired, the coast is within site and she says "I just can't go anymore" and turns around and starts heading back

 

Is That Your Final Answer?
A man and his wife went to bed one night and the man was getting very frisky and asked his wife if she was in the mood. His wife answered, "Not tonight dear I have a headache."

The man replied, "Is that your final answer"? She said, "Yes."

...He said. "Ok, then, I'd like to phone a friend."[/align]

 

lol! @ blond joke

 

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at
the store, like beer, milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find
exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same
thing.


Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.
The true answer is always either sex, cars, beer, sex, sports, food,
or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so save us both
some trouble and don't ask.

Because I'm a man, whatever you got your Mom for Mother's Day is okay;
I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my
Mom that shows my thoughtfulness, too.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole
show looking for it


Because I'm a man and this is, after all, the year 2008, I will share
equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest, like
wandering around in the yard with a beer wondering what to do

 

Stolen Engine
A blonde woman is driving a Porsche and she sees another blonde woman with a Porsche that has broken down on the side of the road.

She stops to ask what's wrong.

The owner of the broken Porsche said, 'I just had a look under the hood, and while I was driving somebody had stolen the engine.'

The other said, 'Oh, don't worry, I have a spare one in the back of my Porsche.'[/align]

 

 

so true! lmao!!! we know we've all done that, or i have anyway! lol



lmao!! thats a good one

 

Two drunks are riding around in their car one night.

One drunk says to the other "I think we are getting closer to town."
Second drunk: "Why do you say that?"
First drunk: "We're hitting more and more people."