JOKE OF THE DAY
Thread Starter
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Monte Of The Month -- March 2007
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,264
From: Woodstock, Ontario, Canada
JOKE OF THE DAY
i dont know if this has still been going on while i've been away
but i thought i'd start up some more again
this was always fun
Stay...
I pulled into the parking lot of a crowded supermarket the other day and rolled down the windows to make sure my new Labrador puppy had some fresh air.
He was sprawled out on the backseat and wanted to make sure he understood that I wanted him to remain there and not jump over my seats.
I walked backward away from the car constantly saying, "Stay. Good boy. You stay there. STAY. STAY."
Just then a pretty blonde lady walked by and said, "You know, you won't have that problem if you just put the car in PARK."[/align]
but i thought i'd start up some more again
this was always fun
Stay...
I pulled into the parking lot of a crowded supermarket the other day and rolled down the windows to make sure my new Labrador puppy had some fresh air.
He was sprawled out on the backseat and wanted to make sure he understood that I wanted him to remain there and not jump over my seats.
I walked backward away from the car constantly saying, "Stay. Good boy. You stay there. STAY. STAY."
Just then a pretty blonde lady walked by and said, "You know, you won't have that problem if you just put the car in PARK."[/align]
Thread Starter
|
Monte Of The Month -- March 2007
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,264
From: Woodstock, Ontario, Canada
RE: JOKE OF THE DAY
Monte Of The Month -- February 2008
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 4,286
From: Born in East LA
RE: JOKE OF THE DAY
[Now that the pope is gone.
]
CONFESSION
A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball."
Man- "That's nice."
Boy- "Want to buy it?"
Man- "No, thanks."
Boy- "My dad's outside."
Man- "OK, how much?"
Boy- "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy- "Dark in here."
Man- "Yes, it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy- "$750."
Man- "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says "$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that **** again."
]CONFESSION
A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball."
Man- "That's nice."
Boy- "Want to buy it?"
Man- "No, thanks."
Boy- "My dad's outside."
Man- "OK, how much?"
Boy- "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy- "Dark in here."
Man- "Yes, it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy- "$750."
Man- "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says "$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that **** again."
Thread Starter
|
Monte Of The Month -- March 2007
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,264
From: Woodstock, Ontario, Canada
RE: JOKE OF THE DAY
warning **** pg 13 joke lol
Doggy Style Joke
Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. “Does your wife ever do it doggy style?” asked the one. “Well… not exactly.” his friend replied, “She’s more into the trick dog aspect of it.”
“Oh, I see, so she’s kinky eh?” he asked curiously. “Well… not exactly… I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead.”[/align]
lolDoggy Style Joke
Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. “Does your wife ever do it doggy style?” asked the one. “Well… not exactly.” his friend replied, “She’s more into the trick dog aspect of it.”
“Oh, I see, so she’s kinky eh?” he asked curiously. “Well… not exactly… I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead.”[/align]
RE: JOKE OF THE DAY
i liked the doggy style joke....
Heres another rated R joke.
A deaf man and deaf woman marry each other. They soon realize in teh darkness of the bedroom, it's hard to sign to each other what they want. So she tells him one evening before bed "If you're in the mood, squeeze my right boob, if not, squeeze my left boob."
He says to her "If you're in the mood, squeeze my "thing" once(censor makes **** out of the other word), if not, squeeze it 100 times.
I'm getting a warning forthat one for sure
Heres another rated R joke.
A deaf man and deaf woman marry each other. They soon realize in teh darkness of the bedroom, it's hard to sign to each other what they want. So she tells him one evening before bed "If you're in the mood, squeeze my right boob, if not, squeeze my left boob."
He says to her "If you're in the mood, squeeze my "thing" once(censor makes **** out of the other word), if not, squeeze it 100 times.
I'm getting a warning forthat one for sure
RE: JOKE OF THE DAY
[align=center][:-]New Rules @ College [:-][/align][align=center][/align]
[IMG]local://upfiles/714/671F6C7A7F2844BBAA85B0FA89723C3B.jpg[/IMG]
The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds/off limitsfor all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students.
[align=center][/align][align=center][/align]Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
At this, a male student named `Space spoke `up & asked
[align=center][/align]At this, a male student named `Space spoke `up & asked
"How much is itfor a season pass?" 
[align=center][/align][IMG]local://upfiles/714/671F6C7A7F2844BBAA85B0FA89723C3B.jpg[/IMG]