After several conversations with my sister back in Tucson mom needs to be more closly watched she is 95.

My sister and brother inlaw are not capable/willing to take her into their 2 million dollar home in the foothills of Tucson and sis is too busy (she doesn't work or have kids). Ronda and I both work. I will move my computer room downstairs and mom will use the current computer room for her bedroom

So mom is moving in with us here in MI. (I can't stand by and see her go into a nursing home).

Mom is ok except for severe memory loss occasionally (getting more often... maybe altimer's?). Our 20 year old just moved out and now we are going to care for a 95 year old.

I am trying hard to keep thing light and easy with sis but Iam P-ooo'd right now and need to get this off my chest. Mom doen't even know yet, sister is breaking it to her a little at a time. I'll eventually get over it I know, but I am feeling over whelmed right now.

Thanks for the ear members

 

keep your head up every thing happens for a reason

 

Hi `Tadd,
I'm sorry to read about your position & decisions
I know that you love your mother, but it's a big responsibility to care for an elderly parent..

I was raised by senior citizens & have watched to many of then fade, and also had to deal with their children that did not want to take on the burden. I've helped my girlfriend take care of her grandmother and it's a 24/7 duty.

We had to place her into a first rate Nursing care where my g/f works & lives while she's at Med School. It's very expensive and can drain ones resources. They take excellent care of her & are there if there is any medical problems.
She isn't doing well, but she is content & without pains.


From experience `if you don't have home care full time, it's going to be difficult for you & Ronda. I suggest being honest with your feelings to your sister & explore all the alternatives.

Also check this link & maybe you can gleam some information that will be helpful to you..
Caring for elderly parents catches many unprepared - USA Today <~ Click

I wish you the very best in your decision. Good Luck...
Sincerely, `Space

 

That sucks, but at least someone (you) are looking out for your mom and her best interest. Sorry to hear your sister is not stepping up to the plate to help as much.

Hope it all goes smooth getting her moved in and adjusted.

 

Space thanks for the link.. I will check it out. For now I think Ronda and I can care for mom but am not sure as time goes on and if she gets worse. Mom lives on her own now but forgets her meds, my late dad, where she is at, ect... She is fully aware of what is happining to her and gets so frustrated with herself. There is not enough resources to put her in a good home like the one your G/F works at (sounds Ideal). I will check your link 4-sure and thanks

 

Tadd I went through the same type of thing. My mom needs 24 hour care for memory issues and my brother does nothing for her. My wife and I handle everything. Maybe your sister is not a strong enough person to go through that with you mom. Good luck and god bless.

 

HI TADD: Well its not easy to do what you have to do. But At least your stepping up! Don't be too hard on your sister. Might not be all her fault. If she never had kids. She might not be able to handle the Stress that goes with this. Or it might be hard for THEM to deal with it. Not everyone can do what your going to do. Keep your spirts up. Might be able to get a Nurse or someone to check in on here during the day while you 2 are at work. OUR Mom's went thru a lot for us while we were growing up. I guess its only fair. That we lend a hand also. Yes its a life change. But put yourself in her place. NO ONE wants to be a burden to anyone. You & Rhonda take care of yourselfs. Rick

 

Thanks everyone. Rick you are right.. many a night mom stood up while I was a teen carusing around town at night. I am trying very hard to be nice to sister belive me and I'll care for mom with love for sure. I am soo thankfull for Ronda and her open arms and heart to my mom

. Mom will be here around the end of August. I have some lose ends to tie up before she comes including a promised week with my daughter and her family at Lake Michigan the week of Aug 6th

I know that I have to do this for mom and not feel bad toward sis, but I needed all you guys to sorta have a shoulder to lean on. Space's link also brought up questionsd I need to talk about with my finaical advisor.

Again thanks to you all for listening and giving advise. Any advise is welcomed for sure.... as I am test driving on a new road for sure.

 

Tad and Rhonda:

It takes a strong man and women to do what your doing...
Prayers and blessings in your endevour.

If I had kids...I would want them to be like you and rhonda...

God Bless!

 

Kudo's to you. We took my wife's Mom in when she could no longer care for herself. I would only hope someone would do the same for me. It was not easy but the right thing to do.