easter cancelled
#2
04-04-2007, 12:34 PM
RE: easter cancelled
Anyway
[:-]
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service.
__________________________________________________ ____________________
[:-]Real advertisements 06 [:-]The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service.
__________________________________________________ ____________________
Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins.
Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.
Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come foreward and lay an egg on the alter.
The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come foreward and do so.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
[sm=happybounce.gif]
Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.
Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come foreward and lay an egg on the alter.
The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come foreward and do so.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
[sm=happybounce.gif]
#3
04-04-2007, 08:27 PM
RE: easter cancelled
[sm=funnypostabove.gif][sm=groupwave.gif][sm=funnypostabove.gif][sm=groupwave.gif][sm=funnypostabove.gif][sm=groupwave.gif][sm=funnypostabove.gif][sm=groupwave.gif][sm=funnypostabove.gif][sm=groupwave.gif][sm=funnypostabove.gif][sm=groupwave.gif]
#4
04-04-2007, 10:20 PM
RE: easter cancelled
That is pretty good. You have to remember though that when they are typed, they know the meaning and typically don't look at hidden meanings that accompany them. It is psychologically caught by those that have some cynisism or a vulgar mind.... the definition of vulger has changed in the last 50 years though...to normal.
#5
04-05-2007, 12:36 PM
RE: easter cancelled
[align=center]Happy Easter [/align][align=center][:-]Hey Baby, want 2 Hop ?[/align][align=center][/align][align=center]
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[/align][align=center][/align][align=center][/align]
#7
04-05-2007, 06:42 PM
Monte Of The Month -- February 2008
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Born in East LA
Posts: 4,286
RE: easter cancelled
ORIGINAL: 04 Intimidator
That is pretty good. You have to remember though that when they are typed, they know the meaning and typically don't look at hidden meanings that accompany them. It is psychologically caught by those that have some cynisism or a vulgar mind.... the definition of vulger has changed in the last 50 years though...to normal.
That is pretty good. You have to remember though that when they are typed, they know the meaning and typically don't look at hidden meanings that accompany them. It is psychologically caught by those that have some cynisism or a vulgar mind.... the definition of vulger has changed in the last 50 years though...to normal.
vul·gar/ˈvʌl
gər/[vuhl-ger]–adjective
1. characterized by ignorance of or lack of good breeding or taste: vulgar ostentation.
2. indecent; obscene; lewd: a vulgar work; a vulgar gesture.
3. crude; coarse; unrefined: a vulgar peasant.
4. of, pertaining to, or constituting the ordinary people in a society: the vulgar masses.
5. current; popular; common: a vulgar success; vulgar beliefs.
6. spoken by, or being in the language spoken by, the people generally; vernacular: vulgar tongue.
7. lacking in distinction, aesthetic value, or charm; banal; ordinary: a vulgar painting. –noun
8. Archaic. the common people.
9. Obsolete. the vernacular.
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