My '03 monte carlo ss won't start, and i'm freakin out. About a week ago when i used the key fob to unlock the doors, i noticed a clicking sound and was unable to start it. after a few attempts i was able to get it started. It isn't the standard clicking like a dead battery. it's like the power is coming off and on, the gauges twitch and the speakers make a dull thump in rhythm. only the check engine and seatbelt lights come on. now the car won't start no matter what i try to do. the clicking stops when i touch the break and resumes when i let off of it. only clicks for a few minutes then stops.

 

Have you tested the starter to see whether that's bad or not?

Edit: Have you also checked your battery terminals to make sure they are clean?

 

Battery terminals are clean and not sure how to check starter.

My manager got back to our shop and put a battery charger on it and it started right up. i'm guessing it's a bad battery or alternator. but i replaced the battery like 8 months ago... going to have it tested after i get off work in half an hour.

 

So I got it started after using a jump pack, and drove it over to the local parts store, starter alternator and battery passed the test. Brought it back home, waited half an hour and tried restarting it without success. What should I look for now?

 

If a jump start got it running immediately, you have one of two things:
- something causing a parasitic drain
- bad battery
When the battery is low on power the computers in these cars can do tons of weird things.

I would remove the battery and have the parts store bench test it. Another option is temporary swap it with another car and see if the problem follows the battery.

I am guessing bad battery despite the test.

 

Ok. Took it back and had them retest, and this time it failed. Since I bought it there 8 months ago, they just swapped it out for a new one. Hopefully that's all that's wrong with it.

Just in case it isn't, I've unplugged all accessories from my lighter sockets. Also, I only noticed the problem after using my key fob to lock and unlock the vehicle, so I'm going back to the stone ages and locking up with my key.

Any other suggestions for sorting out parasitic drain?

 

X2 on the battery. We see these same symptoms all too often.
Any chance the car has an aftermarket stereo, remote starter or alarm system? They seem to be good for parasitic draws.

 

Stereo is stock, only keyless entry, no remote start, but like I said, I only had the problems after using the key fob to lock/unlock the car. not sure about alarm, but I don't think it has anything aftermarket, so no alarm unless it came stock.

 

Good! They're full of Gremlins

I think the only thing the remote has to do with it is that door locks have a high amp draw on the low battery, current passes through the serial data link and the low voltage can make switches and contactors buzz. The electrical system is really sensitive to low voltage, even tenths of volts can make a difference on some of the sensors.

 

Good to know. It started up fine this morning. I wonder what killed my battery so quickly. I just changed it 8 months ago. Granted, it was the cheapest one the store had to offer, but i don't ever let it get drained. Not after the one time i left the radio on and locked my keys in the car on the battery before that one.