-> Post a Funny : )
#11
03-04-2011, 08:47 AM
HAHA! Love the cats.....
So one night a Chevy driver, a Ford driver, a Dodge driver, and a Toyota driver were out camping. The Ford driver pulls out a bottle of a bottle of Jack Daniels and says "REMEMBER THE ALAMO" and drinks his bottle. The Dodge driver pulls out a bottle of Crown Royal and says "LONG LIVE THE QUEEN" and drinks his bottle. The Chevy drivers pulls out a gun, shoots the Toyota driver, and says "It don't get any better than this!"
One night a Chevy driver was heading down the highway and a Honda pulls up along side and the driver has his face all shoved up against the windshield grunting and looks like he's in a lot of pain. Well they both had their windows down to the Chevy driver shouts over "Hey, are you okay over tehre??" The Honda driver says, "NO, I just sh*t my pants!!" The Chevy driver says "Well you better pull over before you cause a wreck." The Honda driver says, "I can't I aint' done yet!!!"
Chuck Norris tears can cure cancer. But Chuck Norris never cries.
When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse shouted, "OMG ITS CHUCK NORRIS!!!" And slept with him. At that point, she was the 3rd woman he'd slept with.
Chuck Norris is your true father and creator.
In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris makes lame fact jokes abotu YOU!!!
Chuck Norris knows the sound of one hand clapping.
Chuck Norris knows the square root of the color yellow.
Chuck Norris once killed a cloud... it was shaped like a bunny.
When Chuck Norris reads your bed time story, you sleep forever..
The four horseman of hte apocolapyse symbolize Chuck Norris' limbs.
Chuck Norris gave his cell phone a brain tumor.
So a man goes to a psyciatrist to talk about a dream he had. He sits down and says to the psyciatrist, "Well, I had a strange dream that I am very concerned about. I had a dream I died, and I went to the gates of heaven. St. Peter said I could go into heaven, and said I would get a car when I entered heaven. He said if you have never cheated on your wife, you may have any car you want. If you cheated on your wife once, you still get a luxury car. If you cheated on your wife two times, you get a large sedan car. If you cheated on your wife three times, you get a sports car. If you cheated 4 times, you get a concept car. I interupted him there, and said I was very proud to say that I had never cheated on my wife. So St. Peter said to enter the gates, I would find my dream car waiting. I entered the gates of heaven, got inside my dream car and started driving around heaven." So the psyciatirst said, "We'll, I don't see whats wrong with that dream." So the man says. "Well, I didn't see anything wrong with that part either, but while I was driving around I saw my wife. She was on a rusted old bicycle with two blown out tires.
A concerned passenger is wandering why the plane is flying so low to the ground. Finally, he asks a flight attendent, "Why are we flying so low to the ground?" The attendent calmly says, "Oh, the GPS and radio both went out, so the pilot is following the road signs.
I know a man who just invented a brand new radar detector. Its even legal in Virginia, and their ain't nothing legal in Virginia. It ain't nothing but a monkey that sits on the hood of your vehicle with a pair of binoculars and a whistle.
You hear about how 'Space broke his arm raking leaves? He sure did, he fell right out of the tree.
A rabbi, a priest, and a politician were traveling one night and getting sleepy and they saw a farm up ahead. They pull off and ask the farmer if they can stay there. He said well sure but I only have 2 rooms so somebody got to sleep in the barn. So the rabbi said well I will do that. He comes back a few miniutes later and says I can't stay their, theirs a pig in that barn, it's against my religion to stay out their with that. So the priest heads out. He comes back and says I can't sleep out their. Theirs a cow in that barn, it's against my religion to sleep with such an animal. So the politician heads out their. A miniute later every animal in the barn comes to the house and says we can't sleep out their with a politician.
Three blondes are stranded on a deserted island. They find a bottle and figure well what do we have to lose. They pop the top off and a genie pops out. The genie says he will grant each blonde 1 wish. The first blonde said she would like to be smarter. The genie says done and then she goes into the woods, gahters some logs, builds a boat and rows across the river and continues on with her life. The second blonde says I want to be smarter than her. So she becomes a red headand swims all the way to the other side and goes on with her life. The third blonde says I want to be smarter than both of them together and she becomes a brunette, see's a bridge, crooses it, and goes on with her life.
So one night a Chevy driver, a Ford driver, a Dodge driver, and a Toyota driver were out camping. The Ford driver pulls out a bottle of a bottle of Jack Daniels and says "REMEMBER THE ALAMO" and drinks his bottle. The Dodge driver pulls out a bottle of Crown Royal and says "LONG LIVE THE QUEEN" and drinks his bottle. The Chevy drivers pulls out a gun, shoots the Toyota driver, and says "It don't get any better than this!"
One night a Chevy driver was heading down the highway and a Honda pulls up along side and the driver has his face all shoved up against the windshield grunting and looks like he's in a lot of pain. Well they both had their windows down to the Chevy driver shouts over "Hey, are you okay over tehre??" The Honda driver says, "NO, I just sh*t my pants!!" The Chevy driver says "Well you better pull over before you cause a wreck." The Honda driver says, "I can't I aint' done yet!!!"
Chuck Norris tears can cure cancer. But Chuck Norris never cries.
When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse shouted, "OMG ITS CHUCK NORRIS!!!" And slept with him. At that point, she was the 3rd woman he'd slept with.
Chuck Norris is your true father and creator.
In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris makes lame fact jokes abotu YOU!!!
Chuck Norris knows the sound of one hand clapping.
Chuck Norris knows the square root of the color yellow.
Chuck Norris once killed a cloud... it was shaped like a bunny.
When Chuck Norris reads your bed time story, you sleep forever..
The four horseman of hte apocolapyse symbolize Chuck Norris' limbs.
Chuck Norris gave his cell phone a brain tumor.
So a man goes to a psyciatrist to talk about a dream he had. He sits down and says to the psyciatrist, "Well, I had a strange dream that I am very concerned about. I had a dream I died, and I went to the gates of heaven. St. Peter said I could go into heaven, and said I would get a car when I entered heaven. He said if you have never cheated on your wife, you may have any car you want. If you cheated on your wife once, you still get a luxury car. If you cheated on your wife two times, you get a large sedan car. If you cheated on your wife three times, you get a sports car. If you cheated 4 times, you get a concept car. I interupted him there, and said I was very proud to say that I had never cheated on my wife. So St. Peter said to enter the gates, I would find my dream car waiting. I entered the gates of heaven, got inside my dream car and started driving around heaven." So the psyciatirst said, "We'll, I don't see whats wrong with that dream." So the man says. "Well, I didn't see anything wrong with that part either, but while I was driving around I saw my wife. She was on a rusted old bicycle with two blown out tires.
A concerned passenger is wandering why the plane is flying so low to the ground. Finally, he asks a flight attendent, "Why are we flying so low to the ground?" The attendent calmly says, "Oh, the GPS and radio both went out, so the pilot is following the road signs.
I know a man who just invented a brand new radar detector. Its even legal in Virginia, and their ain't nothing legal in Virginia. It ain't nothing but a monkey that sits on the hood of your vehicle with a pair of binoculars and a whistle.
You hear about how 'Space broke his arm raking leaves? He sure did, he fell right out of the tree.
A rabbi, a priest, and a politician were traveling one night and getting sleepy and they saw a farm up ahead. They pull off and ask the farmer if they can stay there. He said well sure but I only have 2 rooms so somebody got to sleep in the barn. So the rabbi said well I will do that. He comes back a few miniutes later and says I can't stay their, theirs a pig in that barn, it's against my religion to stay out their with that. So the priest heads out. He comes back and says I can't sleep out their. Theirs a cow in that barn, it's against my religion to sleep with such an animal. So the politician heads out their. A miniute later every animal in the barn comes to the house and says we can't sleep out their with a politician.
Three blondes are stranded on a deserted island. They find a bottle and figure well what do we have to lose. They pop the top off and a genie pops out. The genie says he will grant each blonde 1 wish. The first blonde said she would like to be smarter. The genie says done and then she goes into the woods, gahters some logs, builds a boat and rows across the river and continues on with her life. The second blonde says I want to be smarter than her. So she becomes a red headand swims all the way to the other side and goes on with her life. The third blonde says I want to be smarter than both of them together and she becomes a brunette, see's a bridge, crooses it, and goes on with her life.
#12
03-04-2011, 08:59 AM
LOL CowBoy`Duane, and thanks for adding some funnies to the thread....I luv the spoiler one....(It could also be used as a picnic table while on the side of the road : )I honestly believe that some owner(s) of cars are on `Drugs or that's what I would use as an excuse `if I had one
Member's, which one R U go'in to put on your MONTE ?? LOL
#13
03-04-2011, 09:42 AM
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Georgia
Posts: 4,861
#15
03-04-2011, 10:03 AM
1.) I could never keep a Ford under me, I was always under the Ford.
If your Ford isn't broken yet -- I haven't driven it !
2.) Here's a another joke: WHY DID FORD PUT HEATERS IN THE TAILGATES OF THEIR NEW TRUCKS?
To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the shop!
-Mark.
If your Ford isn't broken yet -- I haven't driven it !
2.) Here's a another joke: WHY DID FORD PUT HEATERS IN THE TAILGATES OF THEIR NEW TRUCKS?
To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the shop!
-Mark.
#17
03-06-2011, 07:26 AM
You want to hear something funny? You should hear the actual voice of David Prowse, the main who was in the Vader suit...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSm9DDxQv8E
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSm9DDxQv8E
#20
03-07-2011, 01:31 PM
This website is hilarious, this guy basically screws with people that post ads on craigslist.
www.dontevenreply.com
There is some foul language.
www.dontevenreply.com
There is some foul language.