At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr. Welch himself):

"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1) For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2) Every time they painted new lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3) Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4) Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5) Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to buy more seats.
6) Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7) The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8) New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9) The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10) Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11) GM would also require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12) Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13) You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

OK, it's your turn 2 post a funny

 

Two blonds walk into a building, you'd think one of them would have seen it.

 

LOL here you go !!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svEPX2GpoXY

 

nice keith haha

 

no problem I would tell some jokes but I don't know any clean ones any more !! LOL

 

..LOL `Keith,
With all the comic's on our forum, I thought we would see more funnie's on this thread , but maybe no one knows any clean `jokes Maybe we should all `go to the laundry & wash our minds ...I did, and now there's nothing there & it all went down the drain...

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 

A priest, Jesus and Chuck Norris are sitting in a boat. The
priest says to Jesus "I am a devout man and believe in you, but that
part about walking across the water...I just can't believe that."
Jesus says, "What's so difficult about that?" With that he steps out
of the boat and walks to the nearby shore. The priest exclaims to
Chuck Norris, "Look at that! He walked right across the water!" Chuck
Norris responds, "What's so exciting about that?" and gets out of the
boat and walks to shore. The priest is flabbergasted and thinks, "Well
if Chuck Norris can do that so can I," gets out of the boat and sinks
to the bottom of the lake. Jesus says to Chuck Norris, "I guess it
really wasn't very nice of us not to tell him where the stones were,"

..to which Chuck Norris replies, "What stones?"

 

LOL ^K.J.^ LOL~>Thanks

^^^^^Don't have any Stones^^^^^

 

Here is a funny one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6Ccx...e_gdata_player