? How to Avoid the Holiday Blues ?
#1
12-10-2012, 10:19 AM
? How to Avoid the Holiday Blues ?
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D.& posted by ~>MCF `Space
Expert in Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and author (`space just borrowed Judith words to share, cause he cares) 
=======================================
How to Avoid the Holiday Blues
1. Visit the Monte Carlo Forum & make a post.2. Go for a ride in your Monte Carlo
3. Just `be happy 2 `be "Be the driver of your life & drive it to where you want to `be"...Your choice 4-Sure...Wish everyone a Happy Holidays
I hope the below helps someone...
The holidays are often a time when folks complain of feeling down or blue. These feelings are real, but most of the time, they are mild and temporary -- not true symptoms of clinical depression. When people are clinically depressed, on the other hand, they have many of the following symptoms which they experience for almost the entire day, every day for at least two weeks: They most definitely have a depressed mood or experience a diminished loss of interest or pleasure. They might lose or gain weight (without trying to) or notice that their appetite has drastically changed; they might have trouble sleeping and feel restless or unable to concentrate; or they might sleep too much, feel slowed down, fatigued, and lethargic. They might feel worthless or have feelings of guilt, and even experience recurrent thoughts of death. These are symptoms that likely require treatment from a mental health professional. They are not holiday blues.
But what about those mild, downhearted feelings that do occur, for some people, around the holidays? Here's some advice to help you avoid the blues:
- Maintain realistic expectations and relinquish the idea that you must partake in every holiday ritual.
- If you attend parties (and especially family get-togethers), aim to have a good time, not necessarily a great time -- otherwise, you're likely to feel disappointed. Remember, the notion that holidays ought to be the best times of the year is just media hype.
- Stick with your routines, including eating, drinking and sleeping habits. If you over do it and then skimp on your usual exercise, you'll just end up feeling heavy, bloated, and tired.
- Make a budget for spending and avoid trying to buy perfect gifts. You'll feel better knowing you didn't rack up your credit card bill.
- Try not to expect to receive perfect gifts, either. Again, you'll just end up feeling disappointed.
- Consider making a donation to your favorite charity in celebration of your family and friends instead of traditional gift-giving.
- If you feel down, call a friend who has a knack for uplifting conversations; make some plans together.
- Finally, volunteer -- help someone who is less fortunate than you. It's almost certain to help you feel good about yourself. Yes 4-Sure...there are so many that are less fortunate then you 4-Real-Sure...Just watch the news or explore the web...So many homeless in our country, so many without
We must count our blessings - Peace/Happiness 2 `all & to `all >
Last edited by Space; 12-10-2012 at 10:31 AM.
#3
12-10-2012, 10:44 AM
Thanks `David, I need to follow the words I post also
4-Sure...================================================== ===
One must `be in control & keep changing 4 the better...You are the Driver....? aren't YOU ? EnJoy your `Journey of Life...You only get one?
Maybe ? Maybe not ? What `if ? No one is guaranteed a 2morrow!!! Live your `NOW!================================================== ============
The holidays can amplify feelings of loneliness or anxiety. Realistic expectations and coping strategies can help when dealing with depression during the holidays.
ByLuke Arnott
Feelings That Can Lead to Holiday Depression
There are quite a few common feelings that can be triggered by the holidays, and therefore add to the holiday blues. These include:
- Unrealistic expectations – The assumption that the holidays will always be a happy, perfect time can lead to anxiety and depression when problems arise. This is especially true if the superficial trappings of the holidays — such as gift-giving and partying — are expected to compensate for underlying unhappiness.
- Nostalgia – Fond memories of previous holidays sometimes keeps the present from measuring up. Moreover, remembering past holidays as better than they actually were can turn every future holiday into a let-down.
- Loneliness – Holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas stress togetherness and family. But for those who, through no fault of their own, are alone during the holidays, the cheer of others can be a painful reminder.
- Fear and anxiety – Long, dark winters can take an emotional toll, most of all on those in poor health or seniors. But even those who don't fear making it to the following spring can get the holiday blues from shorter and colder days. This is especially true if they spend their days working inside, and it's dark when they commute.
Ways to Avoid Holiday Depression
Luckily, there are many simple coping strategies for dealing with minor depression, anxiety, or simple end-of-year malaise. These usually involve a change of scene or attitude:
- Revise expectations and priorities – Realizing that holidays won't be perfect goes a long way to cut stress and depression for those with impossibly high standards. Pleasant surprises will seem like a bonus, instead of making up for a perceived shortfall.
- Scale back entertaining – Some get depressed during the holidays due to over-scheduling, or socializing among disagreeable company. It's okay to be more selective in attending parties, and to throw smaller gatherings of one's own. People who spend time with those that make them feel comfortable tend to be happier and less lonely.
- Stay away from the mall – If the pressure to find Christmas presents is likely to add to anxiety, trying to do so among crowds and displays can only compound the holiday blues. Doing shopping early, or even online, can reduce stress. Patronizing out-of-the-way local businesses, instead of huge box stores, can also help.
- Take a trip – A change of scene can be a good way of dealing with depression any time of year. Visiting a sunnier place can be a good idea if dark winters get dull. Trying a new experience closer to home is another possibility, such an outing to a museum or a concert that's not on a seasonal theme.
- Volunteer – Spending time helping out at a hospital or shelter is a rewarding experience that can chase away holiday depression. In addition to keeping the mind off one's own troubles, volunteering is a good way to interact with different people in a new environment.
Holiday Blues Usually Not Serious Depression
Most often, what's thought of as holiday depression doesn't escalate into clinical depression. But with the holiday season being stretched out further and further – from Halloween to New Year's Day in many places – it's important for everyone to be able to weather the period calmly.
Unrealistic expectations, or natural feelings of nostalgia, loneliness, or anxiety, can all lead to mild holiday depression. Recognizing the possible causes of those feelings – and addressing them by changing one's priorities or surroundings – can be a step in dealing with depression during stressful times.
Last edited by Space; 12-10-2012 at 11:10 AM.
#4
12-10-2012, 11:22 AM
How to `Beat the Holiday Blues
(4 those single or in a relationship)
Have you been struggling a bit with the holiday blues? This can come up for several reasons whether you’re single or in a relationship. Well, chin up; this week puts you in the home stretch of the holidays. In other words, it’s almost over! You might be feeling stressed because it has been so busy and there is increased spending, you may be missing family you didn’t get to see, you may be arguing more with your partner (due to money, being too busy, etc.) or you may be wishing you had a partner and you’re feeling lonely (lots of parties and no “plus one”). Are any of these scenarios ringing any bells with you? Read on because we have some blues busters to get you through the end of the holiday season and help you start the New Year on a more positive note.
Get started on your work out routine! Exercise may have fallen by the wayside due to being busy with parties and shopping. Get those endorphins flowing with some cardio at the gym, a run outside, a hike out in nature or whatever you enjoy. This is also a great way to meet new people. Lots of people will be joining the gym and starting new work out regimes so while you’re beating the blues you could also be meeting new potential dates.
Get your eating habits back on track. Appetizers and eggnog may taste great but you’re probably missing some of the food groups that contribute to overall health and well being. Bring back the fresh fruit and vegetables. Also, increase your intake of water and decrease your intake of alcohol and caffeine. These simple changes will make you feel better physically which will contribute to your overall state of mind. And, you never know who you might meet at Whole Foods Market or your local farmers market while you’re stocking up on healthy foods!
Get involved in a charitable organization. It’s easy to get focused on what you don’t have and feel you are the only one who is having a tough time. When you get outside of yourself a bit you’re more likely to notice what you have and feel a little more fortunate. Helping others is a great “shot in the arm” meaning a good way to help you put things in perspective becoming more aware that there are others who are in extremely difficult situations and that your circumstances are not that bad.
Plan a visit with the family members you didn’t get to see over the holidays. It’s much easier to make travel plans now that the holidays are over. Travel is less expensive and less hectic and people’s schedules are less busy. You will be able to really focus on each other without the distraction of the holidays. If you aren’t able to visit in person download “Skype” and have the next best thing – a “live” chat.
If you are in a relationship plan some easy, low-key dates with your significant other. This is a good time to reconnect without the chaos of the holidays. You will quickly see there really isn’t that much to argue about when you can just simply have some fun without the interference of shopping for gifts and making it to a party on time.
!
It is that time of year again when the mixture of friends, libations, munchies, and of course “socializing” becomes the norm. But what if you aren’t the most comfortable person in social settings, especially when mixed with the opposite sex. Yikes, that can be a little nerve-racking. Well we are here to help ease some of the pressure and give you some pointers when it comes to mixing and mingling during this holiday season.
There will be small talk, whether you like it or not. And when you think about it why would anyone start a conversation by asking about “feelings, or very personal information?” So in order to feel comfortable with small talk it helps to practice first. Use a mirror or practice with a friend (if you are really nervous) and do so until you start to feel more comfortable.
Look online for creative but innocent conversation starters — just google it. Write them down, stick them in your pocket, memorize them, or even go over them in private (maybe on a restroom break).
Ask people questions about their lives. Try to stick with questions that aren’t too personal and might elicit an answer beyond “yes or no”. For example, “What do you do for a living and do you like your job? “Do you have any pets?” “Do you have brothers and sisters?” Try to stay away from asking about parents because people may have some unresolved parent issues that you DON’T want to talk about when they first meet someone.
Talk about what you like to do to relax or unwind and ask others the same question. Any conversation about what you both like to do in your spare time is a good way to get more information about things in common, which can generate more conversation and natural dialogue. Talk about a good book you just read or even a recent movie you saw and why you liked it or found it interesting.
Ask someone who they know at the event or party depending on the venue you are at, and anything really related to social situation i.e. what they do for fun, how they met and how long they’ve known each other, and so on.
These are just a few suggestions to help you through the many social situations that come up during the holidays that you SHOULD go to especially since the idea of dating better and better dating involves meeting new people!
The tendency is to feel and believe that the holidays are somehow better and only enjoyable if you are in a relationship. This fairly narrow view is quite limiting and is likely to block you from having a happy holiday season. We’d like to remind you that our position is to embrace what you have versus focus on what you feel you are missing, and we encourage you to adopt this philosophy. Living day to day with a more positive frame of mind will help you notice more opportunities. We have some tips on how to develop this positive outlook about your single status even during the holidays.
Acknowledge your status versus focusing on trying to quickly change it just for the sake of not being single. Rushing into a relationship is typically not the way to go. You are much better off not forcing a “plus one” just so you have someone to bring to a holiday party – keep in mind there might be some hot, singles at the party and you will miss out if you are there with your forced “plus one.”
I’m guessing you are receiving invitations to holiday parties – GO! Show up looking fantastic and ready to socialize. Prior to the party ask the host if there will be other singles there and request introductions. Embrace the excitement of meeting new people.
Notice that you have a lot of flexibility because you are single. You can pick and choose which holiday events you want to attend and which ones you will skip. You can plan your own holiday bash, you can go out of town and there is no obligatory family event of a significant other that you must attend.
When it comes to gift giving you can keep it to just your immediate family and not worry about finding the perfect gift for a significant other. Consider getting yourself a gift with the money you would have spent; perhaps donate to charity or do both.
Please avoid making negative comments about your single status. Doing this or posting it on Facebook will only put you in a down mood and cast you in a negative light.
Get a group of friend together – a mix of singles and couples is fine and volunteer your time at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen. If you are so inclined “adopt” a family and provide a holiday meal and gifts for the. This type of activity is sure to put you in the holiday spirit and make you very aware of what you have.
Let this concept set the tone for your approach to your Company Christmas Party, Office Potluck Get-Together, Co-worker Cocktail Party or whatever you want to call your work related, holiday party:
Parties with co-workers, subordinates, the CEO, administrative assistants and office cleaning staff are extensions of the workplace so there are some basic guidelines that need to be followed in order to make a favorable impression. Having said that, holiday parties are a great opportunity to network, and get to know your colleagues and the higher-ups in a little more casual setting. If you follow these guidelines you will ensure your job will be secure well into the New Year.
Attire – Sure, you want to be festive but steer clear of any outfit that is going to get you all the wrong kind of attention (i.e. visible underclothes, plunging neckline, etc). Find out if there is a dress code and consider what is appropriate for the venue and time of day. If you feel compelled to really embrace the holiday in your outfit keep it simple like a Santa hat or a fun pair of earrings because you don’t want to look like a walking, talking Christmas tree.
Arrival/departure – Don’t be the first to arrive or the last to leave. Sitting at the bar alone with a drink as your work mates arrive could make you look a little lonely and staying until the last moment of the party can look like you have nowhere to go. We suggest arriving 30 minutes after the start time on the invitation (unless it is a sit-down dinner, then be on time) and leaving as the party is starting to wind down and a few people start to leave.
Alcohol – Yes, your boss is picking up the tab but that is not an invitation to get sloshed even if your industry embraces a bit of partying. Any drunken escapades are likely to be remembered well into the New Year. I started a job in October one year and the stories of drunken escapades of an employee at the last Christmas party were still being shared! You don’t want to be carried to a cab by a co-worker and you don’t want to pass out in the bathroom. We recommend sticking with one type of beverage versus mixing alcohol. Drinking a glass of water between drinks is a good way to go as well.
Kissing under the mistletoe – The mix of spiked eggnog, the holiday spirit and that dangling sprig of mistletoe can make it seem like a really great idea to “plant one” on Linda from accounting. Think about it, in regular circumstances would you kiss Linda from accounting? If not, then don’t do it now. If there is a possible office romance budding, the office Christmas part is not the time to kick it into high gear. Keep in mind, all of your other colleagues and higher-ups are present. Sure, spend time with Linda and even dance with Linda (provided others are dancing) but pursue the romance in a non-work related setting.
Mingle – The tendency can be to hang out with the people you hang out with every day. This is a great opportunity to meet people from other departments such as the hottie from the 3rd floor! Review some good conversation starters before the party, put on a friendly smile and work the room. Offer to get someone a drink from the bar or suggest trying some treats from the buffet together. You are not at work so talk about other aspects of your life and let your work mates get know a little more about you – you never know, there could be a potential date in your midst!
Enjoy – This is a party so be sure to have fun! Socialize, try the eggnog, and kick up your heels on the dance floor. These guidelines are meant to help you remember that it is a COMPANY Christmas party and therefore an extension of the work place. Warning! People have very long memories for holiday party scandals – you do not want your name attached to a story that is prefaced by “this one will live in infamy,” right?
The holidays can be pretty confusing when you are dating someone new. On one hand you may feel excited about the prospect of someone to share the holidays with, but on the other hand you’re unsure how to approach things like gifts, invitations to family gatherings and office parties and if you will spend New Year’s Eve together. You have visions of embarrassing conversations that include “umm, I, well, I didn’t know you were getting me a gift,” and awkward family gatherings where Grandma calls your new squeeze by your last girlfriend’s name. It’s easy to get caught up in the confusion, stress out and then miss out on the fun part. Before you embark on this festive time with your new like/love interest, take a little time to evaluate where you think this fledgling relationship is now and where you would like it to go. This assessment will help you figure things out like gifts and whether or not you invite him or her to a holiday party. If you have decided things are going well with your new relationship (if you are even calling it that yet!) and you would like to continue seeing this person as the New Year unfolds then here’s how to have a fun, romantic holiday season.
Gifts: Yes, you should get a gift. You do really like this person and this is the season of giving. Since this is a new relationship (3 months or less), don’t go overboard on the amount of money you spend. Make it something personal that shows you have been paying attention. If she loves going to yoga class then get her a pass at her favorite studio for a couple of classes or a stylish bag for her mat. If he is an avid golfer, consider getting him a nice golf shirt. The idea here is to show you put some thought into gift and to send the message that you see your date as someone special.
Family gatherings: Be aware of the message it sends when inviting and accepting invitations to meet someone’s family. This can come across a little too serious like “come over on Christmas and meet your future family.” Present it as low-key, light and festive. If possible, include a few other friends so it isn’t just you and your family and your date. Be careful with introductions like “mom, this is the girl I’ve been telling you about” which is awkward. If your coupling is not yet defined then stick with “mom, this is Susan.” This is not the time to use the term “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” for the first time! Avoid “this is my friend, Susan” because this could get you into trouble later when she interprets it to mean you are just friends. Keep it simple! If you have accepted an invitation to your date’s family gathering don’t go empty handed – be sure to bring a bottle of wine, a bouquet of flowers, chocolates or fresh baked goods.
Holiday parties with friends or co-workers: Many of the same guidelines apply from the tips about family gatherings. If it is your company holiday party or a party hosted by friends, be sure to tell your date about the attire as you want them to feel comfortable. Be on time! Make sure to introduce your date to your friends and/or co-workers. Don’t drink too much! This is a time to be at your best - you are in the midst of yours/your date’s inner circle! If you are attending your date’s holiday party and you are meeting friends and/or co-workers for the first time, you probably want to make a good first impression. You don’t want the first question asked of your date to be “so, how hung-over was he the next day?” Wouldn’t you rather they ask “where did you find such a catch?”
New Year’s Eve: Have a conversation about this with your sweetie. More than likely you have a sense about where you stand and if it makes sense to spend New Year’s Eve together. You certainly have a feel for how the other holiday festivities have gone. Make the plans together. Discuss various options. Being that this is a new romance, you may want to take a little pressure off and spend the holiday with a group of friends versus just the two of you. If things are more defined and you are both comfortable then pull out all the stops and make it a romantic, just the two of you kind of night.
Keep in mind, when the confetti settles after all these holiday parties, your friends and family may have some opinions about your new like/love interest. It’s okay to listen but remember that you are the one dating him/her!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
The holiday season in general tends to get the reputation of being stressful and potentially lonely if you are single. Holiday party invitations often lead to eye rolling and groans of pain while quickly trying to figure out what excuse might be believable to decline the invite. I’m here to tell you that this does not have to be the case. Perhaps there is another way to look at this? Perhaps holiday parties can be a time of opportunity and a fun time? Here are some helpful tips.
Will kids be at the party or just some adults who act/feel like kids? Maybe the host would like an appearance from Santa! If so, volunteer to come dressed up as Santa and you’ll get a chance to talk to everyone at the party. Hand out some chocolate and candy canes and you are sure to be the hit of the party. You never know, you may strike up a conversation with someone who can be your date to the next holiday party!
Ask the host ahead of time who else will be coming solo to the party and then ask your friend to introduce you to those guests. It’s certainly possible you will know many of the other guests. You can bond with these other single party-goers and hang out together. Be gracious, offer to get drinks for your new friends and strike up some light conversation. This is probably right up your ally if you are an extrovert!
Now, if you are more of an introvert or if you are a little on the shy side, ask your host if it is okay to bring a buddy. This will take the edge off of walking in solo and you will have someone who you already know is fun to hang out with and talk to. Try to invite a friend who is a bit more of an extrovert because he can then help you work the room and meet some of the other party-goers. Again, it is certainly possible you will know several people at the party, even if they are just acquaintances from last year’s holiday bash. Remembering someone from last year is a great conversation starter – “Hi, I’m Carl, you look familiar, and I believe we met at this party last year.” I’m sure you get the idea!
Whatever you do, don’t focus on the negative. Starting conversations with “I’m here alone” only makes you and the person you are talking with feel awkward and possibly a little depressed. Talking about how lonely you have been and how you wish you had a date for New Year’s Eve isn’t going to get conversation going very well either. Put a smile on your face, try some of the food from the buffet, have a little eggnog (see next tip below) and strike up light conversation. Some good topics are travel and sports. Many people go on ski trips this time of year and lots of people are following football. Avoid the subject of politics as this can get a little heated and you might offend someone. Also, beware of complaining about the food, music or anyone’s kid. Seriously, have some tact. You are just setting yourself up to upset or offend someone.
Be careful about going to deep into the eggnog or the punch bowl. Drink in moderation. No one likes the obnoxious drunk at the party and if you go easy on the booze it will help you avoid being known as the “guy who drinks too much at parties” all year long. This reputation could seriously affect your chances of meeting someone at this party or being introduced to someone at a later time by a guest who sees you in all your drunken glory.
So, accept invitations to holiday parties and have a terrific time during the holiday season. Remember, parties are great opportunities to expand your social circle and meet potential dates.
(4 those single or in a relationship)
Have you been struggling a bit with the holiday blues? This can come up for several reasons whether you’re single or in a relationship. Well, chin up; this week puts you in the home stretch of the holidays. In other words, it’s almost over! You might be feeling stressed because it has been so busy and there is increased spending, you may be missing family you didn’t get to see, you may be arguing more with your partner (due to money, being too busy, etc.) or you may be wishing you had a partner and you’re feeling lonely (lots of parties and no “plus one”). Are any of these scenarios ringing any bells with you? Read on because we have some blues busters to get you through the end of the holiday season and help you start the New Year on a more positive note.
Get started on your work out routine! Exercise may have fallen by the wayside due to being busy with parties and shopping. Get those endorphins flowing with some cardio at the gym, a run outside, a hike out in nature or whatever you enjoy. This is also a great way to meet new people. Lots of people will be joining the gym and starting new work out regimes so while you’re beating the blues you could also be meeting new potential dates.
Get your eating habits back on track. Appetizers and eggnog may taste great but you’re probably missing some of the food groups that contribute to overall health and well being. Bring back the fresh fruit and vegetables. Also, increase your intake of water and decrease your intake of alcohol and caffeine. These simple changes will make you feel better physically which will contribute to your overall state of mind. And, you never know who you might meet at Whole Foods Market or your local farmers market while you’re stocking up on healthy foods!
Get involved in a charitable organization. It’s easy to get focused on what you don’t have and feel you are the only one who is having a tough time. When you get outside of yourself a bit you’re more likely to notice what you have and feel a little more fortunate. Helping others is a great “shot in the arm” meaning a good way to help you put things in perspective becoming more aware that there are others who are in extremely difficult situations and that your circumstances are not that bad.
Plan a visit with the family members you didn’t get to see over the holidays. It’s much easier to make travel plans now that the holidays are over. Travel is less expensive and less hectic and people’s schedules are less busy. You will be able to really focus on each other without the distraction of the holidays. If you aren’t able to visit in person download “Skype” and have the next best thing – a “live” chat.
If you are in a relationship plan some easy, low-key dates with your significant other. This is a good time to reconnect without the chaos of the holidays. You will quickly see there really isn’t that much to argue about when you can just simply have some fun without the interference of shopping for gifts and making it to a party on time.
!It is that time of year again when the mixture of friends, libations, munchies, and of course “socializing” becomes the norm. But what if you aren’t the most comfortable person in social settings, especially when mixed with the opposite sex. Yikes, that can be a little nerve-racking. Well we are here to help ease some of the pressure and give you some pointers when it comes to mixing and mingling during this holiday season.
There will be small talk, whether you like it or not. And when you think about it why would anyone start a conversation by asking about “feelings, or very personal information?” So in order to feel comfortable with small talk it helps to practice first. Use a mirror or practice with a friend (if you are really nervous) and do so until you start to feel more comfortable.
Look online for creative but innocent conversation starters — just google it. Write them down, stick them in your pocket, memorize them, or even go over them in private (maybe on a restroom break).
Ask people questions about their lives. Try to stick with questions that aren’t too personal and might elicit an answer beyond “yes or no”. For example, “What do you do for a living and do you like your job? “Do you have any pets?” “Do you have brothers and sisters?” Try to stay away from asking about parents because people may have some unresolved parent issues that you DON’T want to talk about when they first meet someone.
Talk about what you like to do to relax or unwind and ask others the same question. Any conversation about what you both like to do in your spare time is a good way to get more information about things in common, which can generate more conversation and natural dialogue. Talk about a good book you just read or even a recent movie you saw and why you liked it or found it interesting.
Ask someone who they know at the event or party depending on the venue you are at, and anything really related to social situation i.e. what they do for fun, how they met and how long they’ve known each other, and so on.
These are just a few suggestions to help you through the many social situations that come up during the holidays that you SHOULD go to especially since the idea of dating better and better dating involves meeting new people!
The tendency is to feel and believe that the holidays are somehow better and only enjoyable if you are in a relationship. This fairly narrow view is quite limiting and is likely to block you from having a happy holiday season. We’d like to remind you that our position is to embrace what you have versus focus on what you feel you are missing, and we encourage you to adopt this philosophy. Living day to day with a more positive frame of mind will help you notice more opportunities. We have some tips on how to develop this positive outlook about your single status even during the holidays.Acknowledge your status versus focusing on trying to quickly change it just for the sake of not being single. Rushing into a relationship is typically not the way to go. You are much better off not forcing a “plus one” just so you have someone to bring to a holiday party – keep in mind there might be some hot, singles at the party and you will miss out if you are there with your forced “plus one.”
I’m guessing you are receiving invitations to holiday parties – GO! Show up looking fantastic and ready to socialize. Prior to the party ask the host if there will be other singles there and request introductions. Embrace the excitement of meeting new people.
Notice that you have a lot of flexibility because you are single. You can pick and choose which holiday events you want to attend and which ones you will skip. You can plan your own holiday bash, you can go out of town and there is no obligatory family event of a significant other that you must attend.
When it comes to gift giving you can keep it to just your immediate family and not worry about finding the perfect gift for a significant other. Consider getting yourself a gift with the money you would have spent; perhaps donate to charity or do both.
Please avoid making negative comments about your single status. Doing this or posting it on Facebook will only put you in a down mood and cast you in a negative light.
Get a group of friend together – a mix of singles and couples is fine and volunteer your time at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen. If you are so inclined “adopt” a family and provide a holiday meal and gifts for the. This type of activity is sure to put you in the holiday spirit and make you very aware of what you have.
Let this concept set the tone for your approach to your Company Christmas Party, Office Potluck Get-Together, Co-worker Cocktail Party or whatever you want to call your work related, holiday party:
Parties with co-workers, subordinates, the CEO, administrative assistants and office cleaning staff are extensions of the workplace so there are some basic guidelines that need to be followed in order to make a favorable impression. Having said that, holiday parties are a great opportunity to network, and get to know your colleagues and the higher-ups in a little more casual setting. If you follow these guidelines you will ensure your job will be secure well into the New Year.
Attire – Sure, you want to be festive but steer clear of any outfit that is going to get you all the wrong kind of attention (i.e. visible underclothes, plunging neckline, etc). Find out if there is a dress code and consider what is appropriate for the venue and time of day. If you feel compelled to really embrace the holiday in your outfit keep it simple like a Santa hat or a fun pair of earrings because you don’t want to look like a walking, talking Christmas tree.
Arrival/departure – Don’t be the first to arrive or the last to leave. Sitting at the bar alone with a drink as your work mates arrive could make you look a little lonely and staying until the last moment of the party can look like you have nowhere to go. We suggest arriving 30 minutes after the start time on the invitation (unless it is a sit-down dinner, then be on time) and leaving as the party is starting to wind down and a few people start to leave.
Alcohol – Yes, your boss is picking up the tab but that is not an invitation to get sloshed even if your industry embraces a bit of partying. Any drunken escapades are likely to be remembered well into the New Year. I started a job in October one year and the stories of drunken escapades of an employee at the last Christmas party were still being shared! You don’t want to be carried to a cab by a co-worker and you don’t want to pass out in the bathroom. We recommend sticking with one type of beverage versus mixing alcohol. Drinking a glass of water between drinks is a good way to go as well.
Kissing under the mistletoe – The mix of spiked eggnog, the holiday spirit and that dangling sprig of mistletoe can make it seem like a really great idea to “plant one” on Linda from accounting. Think about it, in regular circumstances would you kiss Linda from accounting? If not, then don’t do it now. If there is a possible office romance budding, the office Christmas part is not the time to kick it into high gear. Keep in mind, all of your other colleagues and higher-ups are present. Sure, spend time with Linda and even dance with Linda (provided others are dancing) but pursue the romance in a non-work related setting.
Mingle – The tendency can be to hang out with the people you hang out with every day. This is a great opportunity to meet people from other departments such as the hottie from the 3rd floor! Review some good conversation starters before the party, put on a friendly smile and work the room. Offer to get someone a drink from the bar or suggest trying some treats from the buffet together. You are not at work so talk about other aspects of your life and let your work mates get know a little more about you – you never know, there could be a potential date in your midst!
Enjoy – This is a party so be sure to have fun! Socialize, try the eggnog, and kick up your heels on the dance floor. These guidelines are meant to help you remember that it is a COMPANY Christmas party and therefore an extension of the work place. Warning! People have very long memories for holiday party scandals – you do not want your name attached to a story that is prefaced by “this one will live in infamy,” right?
The holidays can be pretty confusing when you are dating someone new. On one hand you may feel excited about the prospect of someone to share the holidays with, but on the other hand you’re unsure how to approach things like gifts, invitations to family gatherings and office parties and if you will spend New Year’s Eve together. You have visions of embarrassing conversations that include “umm, I, well, I didn’t know you were getting me a gift,” and awkward family gatherings where Grandma calls your new squeeze by your last girlfriend’s name. It’s easy to get caught up in the confusion, stress out and then miss out on the fun part. Before you embark on this festive time with your new like/love interest, take a little time to evaluate where you think this fledgling relationship is now and where you would like it to go. This assessment will help you figure things out like gifts and whether or not you invite him or her to a holiday party. If you have decided things are going well with your new relationship (if you are even calling it that yet!) and you would like to continue seeing this person as the New Year unfolds then here’s how to have a fun, romantic holiday season.
Gifts: Yes, you should get a gift. You do really like this person and this is the season of giving. Since this is a new relationship (3 months or less), don’t go overboard on the amount of money you spend. Make it something personal that shows you have been paying attention. If she loves going to yoga class then get her a pass at her favorite studio for a couple of classes or a stylish bag for her mat. If he is an avid golfer, consider getting him a nice golf shirt. The idea here is to show you put some thought into gift and to send the message that you see your date as someone special.
Family gatherings: Be aware of the message it sends when inviting and accepting invitations to meet someone’s family. This can come across a little too serious like “come over on Christmas and meet your future family.” Present it as low-key, light and festive. If possible, include a few other friends so it isn’t just you and your family and your date. Be careful with introductions like “mom, this is the girl I’ve been telling you about” which is awkward. If your coupling is not yet defined then stick with “mom, this is Susan.” This is not the time to use the term “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” for the first time! Avoid “this is my friend, Susan” because this could get you into trouble later when she interprets it to mean you are just friends. Keep it simple! If you have accepted an invitation to your date’s family gathering don’t go empty handed – be sure to bring a bottle of wine, a bouquet of flowers, chocolates or fresh baked goods.
Holiday parties with friends or co-workers: Many of the same guidelines apply from the tips about family gatherings. If it is your company holiday party or a party hosted by friends, be sure to tell your date about the attire as you want them to feel comfortable. Be on time! Make sure to introduce your date to your friends and/or co-workers. Don’t drink too much! This is a time to be at your best - you are in the midst of yours/your date’s inner circle! If you are attending your date’s holiday party and you are meeting friends and/or co-workers for the first time, you probably want to make a good first impression. You don’t want the first question asked of your date to be “so, how hung-over was he the next day?” Wouldn’t you rather they ask “where did you find such a catch?”
New Year’s Eve: Have a conversation about this with your sweetie. More than likely you have a sense about where you stand and if it makes sense to spend New Year’s Eve together. You certainly have a feel for how the other holiday festivities have gone. Make the plans together. Discuss various options. Being that this is a new romance, you may want to take a little pressure off and spend the holiday with a group of friends versus just the two of you. If things are more defined and you are both comfortable then pull out all the stops and make it a romantic, just the two of you kind of night.
Keep in mind, when the confetti settles after all these holiday parties, your friends and family may have some opinions about your new like/love interest. It’s okay to listen but remember that you are the one dating him/her!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
The holiday season in general tends to get the reputation of being stressful and potentially lonely if you are single. Holiday party invitations often lead to eye rolling and groans of pain while quickly trying to figure out what excuse might be believable to decline the invite. I’m here to tell you that this does not have to be the case. Perhaps there is another way to look at this? Perhaps holiday parties can be a time of opportunity and a fun time? Here are some helpful tips.
Will kids be at the party or just some adults who act/feel like kids? Maybe the host would like an appearance from Santa! If so, volunteer to come dressed up as Santa and you’ll get a chance to talk to everyone at the party. Hand out some chocolate and candy canes and you are sure to be the hit of the party. You never know, you may strike up a conversation with someone who can be your date to the next holiday party!
Ask the host ahead of time who else will be coming solo to the party and then ask your friend to introduce you to those guests. It’s certainly possible you will know many of the other guests. You can bond with these other single party-goers and hang out together. Be gracious, offer to get drinks for your new friends and strike up some light conversation. This is probably right up your ally if you are an extrovert!
Now, if you are more of an introvert or if you are a little on the shy side, ask your host if it is okay to bring a buddy. This will take the edge off of walking in solo and you will have someone who you already know is fun to hang out with and talk to. Try to invite a friend who is a bit more of an extrovert because he can then help you work the room and meet some of the other party-goers. Again, it is certainly possible you will know several people at the party, even if they are just acquaintances from last year’s holiday bash. Remembering someone from last year is a great conversation starter – “Hi, I’m Carl, you look familiar, and I believe we met at this party last year.” I’m sure you get the idea!
Whatever you do, don’t focus on the negative. Starting conversations with “I’m here alone” only makes you and the person you are talking with feel awkward and possibly a little depressed. Talking about how lonely you have been and how you wish you had a date for New Year’s Eve isn’t going to get conversation going very well either. Put a smile on your face, try some of the food from the buffet, have a little eggnog (see next tip below) and strike up light conversation. Some good topics are travel and sports. Many people go on ski trips this time of year and lots of people are following football. Avoid the subject of politics as this can get a little heated and you might offend someone. Also, beware of complaining about the food, music or anyone’s kid. Seriously, have some tact. You are just setting yourself up to upset or offend someone.
Be careful about going to deep into the eggnog or the punch bowl. Drink in moderation. No one likes the obnoxious drunk at the party and if you go easy on the booze it will help you avoid being known as the “guy who drinks too much at parties” all year long. This reputation could seriously affect your chances of meeting someone at this party or being introduced to someone at a later time by a guest who sees you in all your drunken glory.
So, accept invitations to holiday parties and have a terrific time during the holiday season. Remember, parties are great opportunities to expand your social circle and meet potential dates.
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