Excuses Traffic Violation: Time Killer if Bored : )
#1
09-21-2006, 08:17 AM
Excuses Traffic Violation: Time Killer if Bored : )
[:-]Traffic Violation Excuses:
[b][The Best Excuse
Boy, are you in trouble now. Or not?
By THE CARCONNECTION TEAM
Summer has finally come to an end. It's time to put away the barbecue, send the kids back to school -- and pay off that speeding ticket you got on the way to vacation. Or maybe you lucked out. Every so often, the right words come out of your mouth, and perhaps that radar cop took pity, writing a warning rather than a citation for 20 over the limit.
TheCarConnection.com asked its readers to offer up the best excuses they've used to get out of a ticket, and apparently that struck a nerve. We received over 2,000 entries from across the country. That includes more than a few e-mails from hard-working officers of the law who've kicked in some of the best -- and worst -- excuses they've heard while on patrol.
Judging this vast pool wasn't easy. We started by eliminating those entries that didn't ring true, along with the hundreds of "excuses" involving bodily fluids and functions. And maybe your wife really did run off with a policeman, but even if you thought the radar cop was bringing her back, we don't care. We received -- and wrote off -- nearly 100 of those entries.
Yet despite all the clichés and bad jokes, there were still some incredible, funny, and even bizarre entries to choose from. You may disagree with the order in which we voted, but we expect you'll agree these are some great excuses.
Our first place winner will have some help getting to his next funeral on time with his new grand prize:
"I am a funeral director, the law does not bother a hearse on the highway at any speed. But this one time I had a time to be at an out of town crematory, and I was in a van, taking an unembalmed body to be cremated and he got me at 90 mph on the Interstate, when he stopped me and asked what was my hurry, I said, 'Brother, I have to be at a crematory in an hour or I'll miss my appointment time and they will be closing for the weekend.' He said, 'So ...' I said, 'Take a whiff in the back, he stuck he head in the side window and jerked it back out and said sir hurry along and be careful.'"
Second place - and the XM2GO - goes to an entrant who proves that it pays to know a cop … intimately:
"I was driving along one day minding what I thought was my own business, and kind of daydreaming. I must have gone a little faster than I should have and was pulled over and stopped by a state police officer. My husband is a former police officer and told me how he always let someone go if they could tell him a reason for speeding that he hadn't heard before. I knew I had to think quickly because he was now approaching my door. He advised me that the reason he was stopping me was I had exceeded the posted limit by 15 miles over. I looked him in the eye and asked him sternly "Do you have any idea what I did to the last cop who stopped me for speeding?" He looked a little shocked and began feeling more cautious. I said, "I married him." I believe he is still laughing, he just walked away and said slow down, have a nice day. I was so pleased that for once my husband told me something that would really work."
Third place - and another XM2GO - to a hard-working officer experiencing a case of mistaken identity:
"Vehicle pulled over for speeding at approximately 04:00. When approaching the vehicle the driver asked me if I knew Officer Westberg. I told him I did. He then went on to tell me how he was Officer Westberg's buddy, and he (Westberg) wouldn't be happy knowing I was giving one of his friends a ticket. I asked him how well he knew Westberg. He said that they have been close friends for years, and even showed me Westberg's business card. I told the driver to wait in his car, and I would check to make sure his license was valid. It was, so I wrote him the ticket for speed. When I gave him the ticket, he asked me why I didn't let him off with a warning, since he was Westberg's friend.
[b][The Best Excuse
Boy, are you in trouble now. Or not?
By THE CARCONNECTION TEAM
Summer has finally come to an end. It's time to put away the barbecue, send the kids back to school -- and pay off that speeding ticket you got on the way to vacation. Or maybe you lucked out. Every so often, the right words come out of your mouth, and perhaps that radar cop took pity, writing a warning rather than a citation for 20 over the limit.
TheCarConnection.com asked its readers to offer up the best excuses they've used to get out of a ticket, and apparently that struck a nerve. We received over 2,000 entries from across the country. That includes more than a few e-mails from hard-working officers of the law who've kicked in some of the best -- and worst -- excuses they've heard while on patrol.
Judging this vast pool wasn't easy. We started by eliminating those entries that didn't ring true, along with the hundreds of "excuses" involving bodily fluids and functions. And maybe your wife really did run off with a policeman, but even if you thought the radar cop was bringing her back, we don't care. We received -- and wrote off -- nearly 100 of those entries.
Yet despite all the clichés and bad jokes, there were still some incredible, funny, and even bizarre entries to choose from. You may disagree with the order in which we voted, but we expect you'll agree these are some great excuses.
Our first place winner will have some help getting to his next funeral on time with his new grand prize:
"I am a funeral director, the law does not bother a hearse on the highway at any speed. But this one time I had a time to be at an out of town crematory, and I was in a van, taking an unembalmed body to be cremated and he got me at 90 mph on the Interstate, when he stopped me and asked what was my hurry, I said, 'Brother, I have to be at a crematory in an hour or I'll miss my appointment time and they will be closing for the weekend.' He said, 'So ...' I said, 'Take a whiff in the back, he stuck he head in the side window and jerked it back out and said sir hurry along and be careful.'"
Second place - and the XM2GO - goes to an entrant who proves that it pays to know a cop … intimately:
"I was driving along one day minding what I thought was my own business, and kind of daydreaming. I must have gone a little faster than I should have and was pulled over and stopped by a state police officer. My husband is a former police officer and told me how he always let someone go if they could tell him a reason for speeding that he hadn't heard before. I knew I had to think quickly because he was now approaching my door. He advised me that the reason he was stopping me was I had exceeded the posted limit by 15 miles over. I looked him in the eye and asked him sternly "Do you have any idea what I did to the last cop who stopped me for speeding?" He looked a little shocked and began feeling more cautious. I said, "I married him." I believe he is still laughing, he just walked away and said slow down, have a nice day. I was so pleased that for once my husband told me something that would really work."
Third place - and another XM2GO - to a hard-working officer experiencing a case of mistaken identity:
"Vehicle pulled over for speeding at approximately 04:00. When approaching the vehicle the driver asked me if I knew Officer Westberg. I told him I did. He then went on to tell me how he was Officer Westberg's buddy, and he (Westberg) wouldn't be happy knowing I was giving one of his friends a ticket. I asked him how well he knew Westberg. He said that they have been close friends for years, and even showed me Westberg's business card. I told the driver to wait in his car, and I would check to make sure his license was valid. It was, so I wrote him the ticket for speed. When I gave him the ticket, he asked me why I didn't let him off with a warning, since he was Westberg's friend.
#2
09-21-2006, 03:41 PM
RE: Excuses Traffic Violation: Time Killer if Bored : )
ORIGINAL: SpaceRider
Blonds get off more
My wife -- a fairly quiet and reserved but very pretty blonde woman -- was pulled over by a Washington State Patrol office for driving 75 mph in a 55-mph zone.
When the office walked to her car and asked her why she was speeding, she told the patrolman that she was married to a police officer who had told her that as long as she was traveling with the flow of traffic she would not be pulled over and would be OK.
The patrolman, having heard all the excuses, or so he thought, told my wife that there were no other cars within a quarter-mile of her when he clocked her on the radar.
She looked at him and told him she knew that, but that the group of cars she had been traveling with got boring so she was trying to catch up with the group in front of her.
Apparently this was a new one to the patrolman, she said he giggled a little bit, told her to slow down, drive safely, and have a nice day. She says she could see him laughing and shaking his head as he walked back to his car.
Blonds get off more
My wife -- a fairly quiet and reserved but very pretty blonde woman -- was pulled over by a Washington State Patrol office for driving 75 mph in a 55-mph zone.
When the office walked to her car and asked her why she was speeding, she told the patrolman that she was married to a police officer who had told her that as long as she was traveling with the flow of traffic she would not be pulled over and would be OK.
The patrolman, having heard all the excuses, or so he thought, told my wife that there were no other cars within a quarter-mile of her when he clocked her on the radar.
She looked at him and told him she knew that, but that the group of cars she had been traveling with got boring so she was trying to catch up with the group in front of her.
Apparently this was a new one to the patrolman, she said he giggled a little bit, told her to slow down, drive safely, and have a nice day. She says she could see him laughing and shaking his head as he walked back to his car.
[sm=thanx.gif]
That is just too funny, and typical too...
Blonds are more fun....
#3
09-29-2006, 01:47 AM
RE: Excuses Traffic Violation: Time Killer if Bored : )
Before I got my Monte, I was out speeding around in my Blazer. Merging onto a highway I hauled butt to get in front of a car in the right lane, instead of slowing and getting behind. It was like 11pm and I was in a hurry. Well it turned out the guy I hauled *** to get in front of was a Ga State Trooper!! Well he pulls me over and he asks what the hurry was and out of nowhere I blurted out "I am going to my girlfriends house and I really gotta use the bathroom" (which I didnt). He laughed at me and told me to slow down and let me go.
So you guys might wanna try that one.
Sadly, not 3 days later I got pulled over again. I think God was getting back at me for bragging so much to my friends about getting out of a ticket that he decided to go ahead and give me one to teach me a lesson.
So you guys might wanna try that one.
Sadly, not 3 days later I got pulled over again. I think God was getting back at me for bragging so much to my friends about getting out of a ticket that he decided to go ahead and give me one to teach me a lesson.
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