To all Pet Owners:



To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height is preferable.


Dear Dogs and Cats:

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.



The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.



I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.



For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the **** or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years canine or feline attendance is not required.



The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!



To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:



To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:



1. They live here. You don't.

2 If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it 'fur'niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.



Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:



1. Eat less

2. Don't ask for money all the time

3. Are easier to train

4. Normally come when called (well, OK, the cat thinks about it)

5. Never ask to borrow the car

6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends

7. Don't smoke or drink

8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions

9. Don't want to wear your clothes

10. Don't need a 'gazillion' dollars for college.



And finally,



11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children[/align]

 

Way to go, I understand now why i have pets.
Photo of my boats new paint job, yes its where i get my nickname (Fever42)


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LMAO thats awesome

 

hey fever. your boat looks bad A$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you must be somewhere warm right now seeing as how its in the water. can i ask where you are located. i keep all my toys up on the border of illinois and wisconsin (on lake michigan). the shop at were i work has actually painted a couple of boats and trailers for matching purposes. my family cruises a 50' sea ray, 26' crownline (it does 55 so good enough) then we got many of jetskis. including a kawasaki 800sx(i ride this the most) then a rxp and rxt 215. and the newest is a rxp 255. that one does a true 70 mph. its crazy fast for a jetski. i cant wait to get them out in the coming months when it gets warm out. (i still go even when the water is 40)

 

Funny post.




and doesn't speak clearly.

Well I for one know this isn't 100% true. I know all to well what my cat smeekers wants when he wakes me up an hour before I have to get up to go to work. (even though this pisses me off)

He wants outside. He wants to go guardHIS territory from invaders.

I know I can tell him, "You come back when I go to work." And he will.

The vet told me once he never heard a cat "talk" as much as Smeekers. So he must feel like he has something tosay.

 

LOL, RJ. Between my cats and my parrot, there is no such thing as sleeping in. They want breakfast on time 365 days a year, no exceptions.

 

i got 2 dogs (little ones i hate, i want an english mastiff) 7 african chiclids (fish) and 3 crested geckos. the fish and geckos are easy just feed them and they are happy. the dogs not so much when the one wants something you better cover your face. otherwise no matter what opens that door they are barking at it. if something is out of place they are barking at it. and its not no bark its more like a chirp. annoying high pitched yellps. as you can see i want a big dog and an english mastiff will do.

 

When Herman & Heidi were still with us they could get pretty noisy at times. Herman wasn't as vocal as Heidi was. She could really be loud. I used to encourage her to be as loud as possible when we were playing.

Our cat Chevi used to cry his head off at the most inconvenient times. (middle of the night, or any time you were napping)

My cat Chelsea will be 20 years old in april. She's developed this habit too.

 

Thanks for the LOL's

 

rj, kudos on your 20-year old cat. that's pretty amazing. she is a lucky girl to have you!

my cat bullitt (after the steve mcqueen movie, yes it's a mustang but it's hot and i love that movie!) is a talker too, he'll meow and i'll meow back at him, and he'll do it back, we'll go back and forth for a good few minutes before he gets annoyed that i'm apparently not getting it and walks away. he routinely will whine outside my bedroom door 30-60 minutes before i get up in the morning, even though the door is open for him to come in and out. it drives me insane. and of course if i yell at him to stop he'll just do it more. or will come in and sit on my step stool right next to the bed and do it right at me. grr....