So you want to replace the battery in your Monte, but you got this big diagonal bar in your way?

Here's the step by step for replacing the battery in your Monte.




Ok, first things first. Make sure your engine is off.

If you have a diagonal stabilizer bar above your battery, go ahead and use a socket wrench to remove it. One end will have two bolts, the other end will have one.

Disconnect the negative terminal. The cable with the black end.

Disconnect the positive terminal. The cable with the red end.

Get a socket wrench with a 12" plus extension and get a 13mm to 15mm socket. Don`t remember size.

Use it to take off the nut holding the the battery mount in place - looks like a plastic wedge. Once it`s out, pull battery out.

When putting the new battery in make sure the bottom edge fits under the lip on the battery tray.

Put wedge back in, tighten, then connect thered cable to thepositive (+) and theblack cable to thenegative (-). You may get a small spark when connecting the second battery cable. This is normal.

Re-install the stabilizer bar.

BEFORE STARTING THE ENGINE, CHECK TO MAKE SURE THERE ARE NO WIRES OR HOSES IN THE PATH OF THE ENGINE BELTS. Be sure all wires and hoses are securely out of the way of any moving parts.

Once everything is tightened and secure, you should be good to go.

 

step one. open hood
step two turn off car
step three get a beer
step 4 get another beer
step 5 get a hack saw
step 6 take wires off
step 7 cut bar off fender
step8 put new bat. in place
step7.5 remove that pian in the **** hold down block on bottom of battery.
step9 get a beer
step10 have frend hold bar back in to place where you cut it out.
atep11. use duck tape to put bad back in car securly
step 12 get a beer
step 13 hook up wires why moving aroudn frend taped to bar under hood
step 14. get abeer
step 15 shut hood. step 16 employ a designated driver to test drive car
step 16 go back to end of block and pick up frend on the shoulder of the road.
JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAPPY NEW YEARS TO ALL MY FAVORIT PEPOLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!including taz

 

Happy New Year to all the Monte Carlo pilots!

 

Step 1: See that Mickey has posted something.
Step 2: Drink a beer.
Step 3: Read Mickey`s post.
Step 4: Post doesn`t make sense yet, so drink a couple more beers.
Step 5: Re-read Mickey`s post. (Now it makes sense)
Step 6: Welcome Mickey back and wish him a Happy New Year.







All kidding aside. I made the first post to replace a thread that needed two pages worth of posts to describe (in less detail) how to change the battery. Including an argument as to which cable to remove first! [sm=icon_rtfm.gif]




P.S. Step 7: Make funny reply toprevious post. [sm=funnypostabove.gif]

 

did you think i was going o allow you to make it threw the new year with out giving you a hard time.

you might change your post to drink a coupe; of cases of beer then reread my post so it makes sens for ya lol

 

Nah. I've been here long enough that only two beers helps me read your posts now. LOL. just kidding.

Glad to see you back on the site. Bigg J and Wiz Kidd have been back on the site lately too. This is the most moderators we've had active for a while.

How's the road treatin ya?

 

yeah ya might get away with some stout lol

the road sucks right now no freight moving anywhere. but i need to call a company in the am, seems mine decided to hire me and not have any freight or trucks that were avalibil so i had to go do a ride along to help out a trainner and "relearn" how to drive. so we ran a truck from 70,000 miles to 98,000 miles in less then a month running it like a team.

but when i came back to get my truck they dont have one for me . Go figure lol
So with any luck i will see something this week so that i can start making money

 

Taz

First off great post but

Never disconnect the positive cable first.....
Always disconnect the neg. on first.... this will break the ground......
When hooking up the battery
Always connect the positive first..... Then the neg. cable.... this will complete the circuit.....

Reason for the spark is because you have done it backwards.... and this can short out ECM's ect...... It does not take much to short things out....

Just trying to help out..... so dont get mad

 

No reason to be mad. I'm willing to admit when I screw up. The argument I mentioned in the other thread did not include me. The instructions in my first post are copy and pasted from various posts in the other thread. With some editting from me. I should have corrected the positive/negative thing sooner. My bad. As soon as I get a chance, I plan on getting the right size sockets in there too. But it's too freakin cold outside right now. Winter sucks! LOL.

I've changed the order in the instructions. Personally, when ever I disconnected a battery I always disconnected the negative first.

 

The terminal screw size should be 8mm or 5/16" if anyone cares