> Negativity + •THE POWER OF A POSITIVE ATTITUDE <
#11
10-30-2013, 07:57 AM
Thanks 2 `all that viewed > I hope that it makes `Life better
Great `Vid & Great Investment of your Time = `Life.
Click above > Your Choice
It's 15 minutes of your `Life
Your Decision
Last edited by Space; 10-30-2013 at 09:37 AM.
#12
10-31-2013, 04:00 AM
"2 read or not 2 read ? > That is your choice 4-Sure"
7 Simple Strategies on How to Stop Negative Thinking
Are you like me? *(I'm not : ),Do you sometimes get annoyed when a stranger bumps into you while walking down the street? Then you imagine all the things you might say to them (“That was rude!”). Or maybe you go over and over in your mind all the things you did wrong during the day, beating yourself up for all your “flaws”.
You may find that negative thoughts are often lurking, ready to spoil your day.
If your mind wanders into a negative space
that you just can’t get out of, guess what? You are pretty much just like everyone else! It’s normal to get frustrated and aggravated by little occurrences throughout your day and to keep thinking about them. But the danger with constantly replaying negative thoughts is that the more you have them, the more they stick around.
A neuropsychologist named Donald Hebb first described this phenomenon in the brain. People often use the expression “cells that fire together, wire together” to describe it. What this means is the more the neurons in your brain fire in one position, the harder it is to change them. The more you think and think about something, the more you strengthen that memory in your brain.
This is why it’s important to stop negative thinking as soon as possible - to stop strengthening the connections in your brain.
But, you should also know that the brain can change. It has what we call neuroplasticity. You don’t have to be stuck in your negative thoughts. It is possible to form new, more positive pathways and in essence rewire your brain to a more positive place. You can teach yourself strategies for overcoming the downhill spiral of negative thoughts.
It does take time and effort but there is hope that with practice and compassion for yourself, you can reduce your negative thoughts.
It can be helpful to remember that thoughts are different than facts. Just because you have a thought about something doesn’t mean it is automatically true. So for example, maybe you are feeling down on yourself for how you performed at work and start thinking you are a bad person. Just because you feel down about your performance at work doesn’t mean you are the worst employee or a bad person. It just means maybe you had a rough day or made a mistake. We all make mistakes; it’s what makes us human and lovable! If you were perfect all the time, it would probably be boring. Know that you are going to make mistakes, because everyone does and that it’s totally normal. And sometimes really exciting things can come out of our mistakes - we can learn to do something new or see a problem from a new perspective. So remember just because you think something doesn’t mean it’s true.
Here are specific strategies to reduce negative thoughts. You may find that one strategy resonates more than others or you may find that a combination of them helps the most. Try them out, experiment, see what works for you, keep what you like and discard the ideas that are not helpful. Here you go:
Are you like me? *(I'm not : ),Do you sometimes get annoyed when a stranger bumps into you while walking down the street? Then you imagine all the things you might say to them (“That was rude!”). Or maybe you go over and over in your mind all the things you did wrong during the day, beating yourself up for all your “flaws”.
You may find that negative thoughts are often lurking, ready to spoil your day.
If your mind wanders into a negative space
that you just can’t get out of, guess what? You are pretty much just like everyone else! It’s normal to get frustrated and aggravated by little occurrences throughout your day and to keep thinking about them. But the danger with constantly replaying negative thoughts is that the more you have them, the more they stick around.A neuropsychologist named Donald Hebb first described this phenomenon in the brain. People often use the expression “cells that fire together, wire together” to describe it. What this means is the more the neurons in your brain fire in one position, the harder it is to change them. The more you think and think about something, the more you strengthen that memory in your brain.
This is why it’s important to stop negative thinking as soon as possible - to stop strengthening the connections in your brain.
But, you should also know that the brain can change
. It has what we call neuroplasticity. You don’t have to be stuck in your negative thoughts. It is possible to form new, more positive pathways and in essence rewire your brain to a more positive place. You can teach yourself strategies for overcoming the downhill spiral of negative thoughts. It does take time and effort but there is hope that with practice and compassion for yourself, you can reduce your negative thoughts.
It can be helpful to remember that thoughts are different than facts. Just because you have a thought about something doesn’t mean it is automatically true. So for example, maybe you are feeling down on yourself for how you performed at work and start thinking you are a bad person. Just because you feel down about your performance at work doesn’t mean you are the worst employee or a bad person. It just means maybe you had a rough day or made a mistake. We all make mistakes; it’s what makes us human and lovable! If you were perfect all the time, it would probably be boring. Know that you are going to make mistakes, because everyone does and that it’s totally normal. And sometimes really exciting things can come out of our mistakes - we can learn to do something new or see a problem from a new perspective. So remember just because you think something doesn’t mean it’s true.
Here are specific strategies to reduce negative thoughts. You may find that one strategy resonates more than others or you may find that a combination of them helps the most. Try them out, experiment, see what works for you, keep what you like and discard the ideas that are not helpful. Here you go:
- Time yourself for a set period of time say 30 minutes, an hour or even a day. See how many times you have a negative thought about yourself and write it down. Notice your self-talk; how harsh are you on yourself? Is it difficult to have compassion for yourself? You may be surprised by how frequently you engage in self attack. Sometimes just noticing how often we do this can be an important step to stopping the behavior. You may not even realize how often you are attacking yourself.
- Use visual imagery. Create some visual images for the thoughts to help take away their power. You can do this in many different ways, here are a few suggestions: imagine your thoughts as water flowing under a bridge. You are standing on that bridge over your thoughts. They are separate and distinct from you. They can’t control you, they are beneath you. You can see your thoughts streaming past you, flowing with the water away from you. Every time a negative thought comes up, push the thought away in the water, under the bridge. Or imagine your thoughts as channels on a TV. When you notice a negative thought coming up change the channel to something more positive, like something you enjoyed that you did that day. You could also try imaging all your problems as something you can put into a box and lock up. When you are ready to think about them, you can open the box – but ultimately you are in control and can use the key to open and close the box as you like. Some people find it helpful to use imagery to help control negative thinking. See if you can come up with some imagery that is helpful to you.
- Mindfulness – when you have a negative thought come up become aware of it. Note to yourself: I am having a negative thought right now. Don’t judge yourself or judge the thought, just notice it come up. Then remind yourself to wake up into the present. You can do this by bringing your awareness to the present moment and your breath, away from your negative thought. Just breathe in and out, and name your breathing, “in and out”. Try this for ten breaths. This will help move you back to what is happening in the moment and away from the thoughts.
- Grounding technique – when you find yourself getting stuck in a thought try to ground yourself in the present moment. This can be used with the mindfulness technique if you like. You can do this by first noticing your feet and how they feel on the ground. Then notice your weight on your legs, and if you are sitting down, how the chair feels on your bottom. Go through the different parts of your body and notice what you are feeling in each part of your body. How do your shoulders feel or your back? What about your face, is your jaw clenched, do your eyes feel tense? Bring your awareness away from your negative thoughts and onto your body and what you feel in your body. This way you can use your body to ground you. Or you can use things around you to ground yourself. So for example you can notice the color of the sky or the sound of a car passing you on the street. Notice what color shirt the person is wearing next to you. By noticing what is around you and how you physically feel in the present moment you can refocus your energy away from the negative thoughts.
- Write the thoughts down. Release them onto paper and then once they have been released from your mind, discard the paper. You can do this by crumpling it up, tearing it into pieces, scratching out the words you’ve just written with a pen or any other way that you like. Create a process around getting the words out and repeat it as necessary. Writing thoughts can help reduce anxiety.
- See if you can figure out who you are speaking to when the negative thoughts come up. Does the conversation you are having with yourself remind you of a conversation you’ve had with someone else? For example maybe it reminds you of your mother who was always negative and harsh on you, making you feel like you were never good enough. Maybe you hear her voice criticizing you or maybe you are defending yourself to her. Who exactly is speaking in your mind? Once you find out who that is, ask yourself how helpful has it been for you to hold onto these thoughts from someone else? How does this behavior serve you? Does it help you or hurt you to carry around someone else’s thoughts about you? Then when the thoughts come up again, take them out of your mind and give them back to the person who is saying them! They aren’t your thoughts, so get rid of them, and let their rightful owner have them back. Or some people like to imagine someone or something else saying the negative thought, like for example, imagine a little tiny mouse saying these negative things to you. This can add some humor and lightness to the thoughts, and help to take away some of their power over you.
- Challenge your negative thoughts – are they really true? I discussed this idea recently in another article called 15 Ways to Be Happy When You Feel Unhappy. The idea is to ask yourself is it really true? Am I really a complete failure because I made a mistake at work? Do other people make mistakes? Is it okay to make mistakes? What if someone I know at work made the same mistake, would I think they were a failure too? As yourself, how well is the thought that I am a failure serving me? Does it help me or hinder me to think this way? Don’t automatically believe the negative thoughts, challenge them!
Last edited by Space; 11-06-2013 at 10:57 AM.
#13
11-01-2013, 09:51 AM
“Designing With Negative Space” it teaches us how to get positive results by making the best use of your negative space.
How do we get rid of negative `Space ? Buy him a Sting`Ray (lol)
Last edited by Space; 11-01-2013 at 10:09 AM.
#14
11-02-2013, 09:54 AM
>Invest in yourself for a happier-positive `Life <
The Science of Positive Thinking:
How Positive Thoughts Build Your Skills, Boost Your Health, and Improve Your Work
How Positive Thoughts Build Your Skills, Boost Your Health, and Improve Your Work
Posted: 10/10/2013 12:46 am
Positive thinking sounds useful on the surface. (Most of us would prefer to be positive rather than negative.) But "positive thinking" is also a soft and fluffy term that is easy to dismiss. In the real world, it rarely carries the same weight as words like "work ethic" or "persistence."
But those views may be changing.
Research is beginning to reveal that positive thinking is about much more than just being happy or displaying an upbeat attitude. Positive thoughts can actually create real value in your life and help you build skills that last much longer than a smile.
Research is beginning to reveal that positive thinking is about much more than just being happy or displaying an upbeat attitude. Positive thoughts can actually create real value in your life and help you build skills that last much longer than a smile.
The impact of positive thinking on your work, your health, and your life is being studied by people who are much smarter than me. One of these people is Barbara Fredrickson.
Fredrickson is a positive psychology researcher at the University of North Carolina, and she published a landmark paper that provides surprising insights about positive thinking and its impact on your skills. Her work is among the most referenced and cited in her field, and it is surprisingly useful in everyday life.
Let's talk about Fredrickson's discovery and what it means for you...
Let's talk about Fredrickson's discovery and what it means for you...
What Negative Thoughts Do to Your Brain
Play along with me for a moment.
Play along with me for a moment.
Let's say that you're walking through the forest and suddenly a tiger steps onto the path ahead of you. When this happens, your brain registers a negative emotion -- in this case, fear.
Researchers have long known that negative emotions program your brain to do a specific action. When that tiger crosses your path, for example, you run. The rest of the world doesn't matter. You are focused entirely on the tiger, the fear it creates, and how you can get away from it.
In other words, negative emotions narrow your mind and focus your thoughts. At that same moment, you might have the option to climb a tree, pick up a leaf, or grab a stick -- but your brain ignores all of those options because they seem irrelevant when a tiger is standing in front of you.
This is a useful instinct if you're trying to save life and limb, but in our modern society we don't have to worry about stumbling across tigers in the wilderness. The problem is that your brain is still programmed to respond to negative emotions in the same way -- by shutting off the outside world and limiting the options you see around you.
For example, when you're in a fight with someone, your anger and emotion might consume you to the point where you can't think about anything else. Or, when you are stressed out about everything you have to get done today, you may find it hard to actual start anything because you're paralyzed by how long your to-do list has become. Or, if you feel bad about not exercising or not eating healthy, all you think about is how little willpower you have, how you're lazy, and how you don't have any motivation.
In each case, your brain closes off from the outside world and focuses on the negative emotions of fear, anger, and stress -- just like it did with the tiger. Negative emotions prevent your brain from seeing the other options and choices that surround you. It's your survival instinct.
Now, let's compare this to what positive emotions do to your brain. This is where Barbara Fredrickson returns to the story.
What Positive Thoughts Do to Your Brain
Fredrickson tested the impact of positive emotions on the brain by setting up a little experiment. During this experiment, she divided her research subjects into five groups and showed each group different film clips.
Fredrickson tested the impact of positive emotions on the brain by setting up a little experiment. During this experiment, she divided her research subjects into five groups and showed each group different film clips.
The first two groups were shown clips that created positive emotions. Group 1 saw images that created feelings of joy. Group 2 saw images that created feelings of contentment.
Group 3 was the control group. They saw images that were neutral and produced no significant emotion.
Group 3 was the control group. They saw images that were neutral and produced no significant emotion.
The last two groups were shown clips that created negative emotions. Group 4 saw images that created feelings of fear. Group 5 saw images that created feelings of anger.
Afterward, each participant was asked to imagine themselves in a situation where similar feelings would arise and to write down what they would do. Each participant was handed a piece of paper with 20 blank lines that started with the phrase, "I would like to..."
Participants who saw images of fear and anger wrote down the fewest responses. Meanwhile, the participants who saw images of joy and contentment, wrote down a significantly higher number of actions that they would take, even when compared to the neutral group.
Participants who saw images of fear and anger wrote down the fewest responses. Meanwhile, the participants who saw images of joy and contentment, wrote down a significantly higher number of actions that they would take, even when compared to the neutral group.
In other words, when you are experiencing positive emotions like joy, contentment, and love, you will see more possibilities in your life . These findings were among the first that suggested positive emotions broaden your sense of possibility and open your mind up to more options.
. These findings were among the first that suggested positive emotions broaden your sense of possibility and open your mind up to more options.But that was just the beginning. The really interesting impact of positive thinking happens later...
How Positive Thinking Builds Your Skill Set
The benefits of positive emotions don't stop after a few minutes of good feelings subside. In fact, the biggest benefit that positive emotions provide is an enhanced ability to build skills and develop resources for use later in life.
The benefits of positive emotions don't stop after a few minutes of good feelings subside. In fact, the biggest benefit that positive emotions provide is an enhanced ability to build skills and develop resources for use later in life.
Let's consider a real-world example.
A child who runs around outside, swinging on branches and playing with friends, develops the ability to move athletically (physical skills), the ability to play with others and communicate with a team (social skills), and the ability to explore and examine the world around them (creative skills). In this way, the positive emotions of play and joy prompt the child to build skills that are useful and valuable in everyday life.
A child who runs around outside, swinging on branches and playing with friends, develops the ability to move athletically (physical skills), the ability to play with others and communicate with a team (social skills), and the ability to explore and examine the world around them (creative skills). In this way, the positive emotions of play and joy prompt the child to build skills that are useful and valuable in everyday life.
These skills last much longer than the emotions that initiated them. Years later, that foundation of athletic movement might develop into a scholarship as a college athlete or the communication skills may blossom into a job offer as a business manager. The happiness that promoted the exploration and creation of new skills has long since ended, but the skills themselves live on.
Fredrickson refers to this as the "broaden and build" theory because positive emotions broaden your sense of possibilities and open your mind, which in turn allows you to build new skills and resources that can provide value in other areas of your life.
As we discussed earlier, negative emotions do the opposite. Why? Because building skills for future use is irrelevant when there is immediate threat or danger (like the tiger on the path).
As we discussed earlier, negative emotions do the opposite. Why? Because building skills for future use is irrelevant when there is immediate threat or danger (like the tiger on the path).
All of this research begs the most important question of all: If positive thinking is so useful for developing valuable skills and appreciating the big picture of life, how do you actually get yourself to be positive?
How to Increase Positive Thinking in Your Life
What you can do to increase positive emotions and take advantage of the "broaden and build" theory in your life?
What you can do to increase positive emotions and take advantage of the "broaden and build" theory in your life?
Well, anything that sparks feelings of joy, contentment, and love will do the trick. You probably know what things work well for you. Maybe it's playing the guitar. Maybe it's spending time with a certain person. Maybe it's carving tiny wooden lawn gnomes or working on your Chevrolet Monte Carlo & taking it for a drive...
That said, here are three ideas for you to consider...
You probably know what things work well for you. Maybe it's playing the guitar. Maybe it's spending time with a certain person. Maybe it's carving tiny wooden lawn gnomes or working on your Chevrolet Monte Carlo & taking it for a drive...That said, here are three ideas for you to consider...
1. Meditation -- Recent research by Fredrickson and her colleagues has revealed that people who meditate daily display more positive emotions that those who do not. As expected, people who meditated also built valuable long-term skills. For example, three months after the experiment was over, the people who meditated daily continued to display increased mindfulness, purpose in life, social support, and decreased illness symptoms.
Note: If you're looking for an easy way to start meditation, here is a
*( Your choice to click the below or not ? There are several great vid's on youtube for Meditating...Do what works for you ?
that was recently sent to me. Just close your eyes, breathe, and follow along.
Note: If you're looking for an easy way to start meditation, here is a
*( Your choice to click the below or not ? There are several great vid's on youtube for Meditating...Do what works for you ?
2. Writing -- This study, published in the Journal of Research in Personality, examined a group of 90 undergraduate students who were split into two groups. The first group wrote about an intensely positive experience each day for three consecutive days. The second group wrote about a control topic.
Three months later, the students who wrote about positive experiences had better mood levels, fewer visits to the health center, and experienced fewer illnesses. (This blew me away. Better health after just three days of writing about positive things!)
Three months later, the students who wrote about positive experiences had better mood levels, fewer visits to the health center, and experienced fewer illnesses. (This blew me away. Better health after just three days of writing about positive things!)
3. Play -- Schedule time to play into your life. We schedule meetings, conference calls, weekly events, and other responsibilities into our daily calendars... why not schedule time to play?
When was the last time you blocked out an hour on your calendar just to explore and experiment? When was the last time you intentionally carved out time to have fun? You can't tell me that being happy is less important than your Wednesday meeting, and yet, we act like it is because we never give it a time and space to live on our calendars.
- Schedule time to play into your life. We schedule meetings, conference calls, weekly events, and other responsibilities into our daily calendars... why not schedule time to play?When was the last time you blocked out an hour on your calendar just to explore and experiment? When was the last time you intentionally carved out time to have fun? You can't tell me that being happy is less important than your Wednesday meeting, and yet, we act like it is because we never give it a time and space to live on our calendars.
Give yourself permission to smile and enjoy the benefits of positive emotion. Schedule time for play and adventure so that you can experience contentment and joy, and explore and build new skills.
and enjoy the benefits of positive emotion. Schedule time for play and adventure so that you can experience contentment and joy, and explore and build new skills. Happiness vs. Success (Which Comes First?)
There's no doubt that happiness is the result of achievement. Winning a championship, landing a better job, finding someone you love -- these things will bring joy and contentment to your life. But so often, we wrongly assume that this means happiness always follows success.
There's no doubt that happiness is the result of achievement. Winning a championship, landing a better job, finding someone you love -- these things will bring joy and contentment to your life. But so often, we wrongly assume that this means happiness always follows success.
How often have you thought, "If I just get ___, then I'll be set."
Or, "Once I achieve ___, I'll be satisfied."
I know I'm guilty of putting off happiness until I achieve some arbitrary goal. But as Fredrickson's "broaden and build" theory proves, happiness is essential to building the skills that allow for success.
Or, "Once I achieve ___, I'll be satisfied."
I know I'm guilty of putting off happiness until I achieve some arbitrary goal. But as Fredrickson's "broaden and build" theory proves, happiness is essential to building the skills that allow for success.
In other words, happiness is both the precursor to success and the result of it.
In fact, researchers have often noticed a compounding effect or an "upward spiral" that occurs with happy people. They are happy, so they develop new skills, those skills lead to new success, which results in more happiness, and the process repeats itself.
Where to Go From Here ? ? (I'm not sure, I better keep reading)
Positive thinking isn't just a soft and fluffy feel-good term. Yes, it's great to simply "be happy," but those moments of happiness are also critical for opening your mind to explore and build the skills that become so valuable in other areas of your life.
Finding ways to build happiness and positive emotions into your life -- whether it is through meditation, writing, playing a pickup basketball game, or anything else -- provides more than just a momentary decrease in stress and a few smiles.
Positive thinking isn't just a soft and fluffy feel-good term. Yes, it's great to simply "be happy," but those moments of happiness are also critical for opening your mind to explore and build the skills that become so valuable in other areas of your life.
Finding ways to build happiness and positive emotions into your life -- whether it is through meditation, writing, playing a pickup basketball game, or anything else -- provides more than just a momentary decrease in stress and a few smiles.
Periods of positive emotion and unhindered exploration are when you see the possibilities for how your past experiences fit into your future life, when you begin to develop skills that blossom into useful talents later on, and when you spark the urge for further exploration and adventure.
To put it simply: Seek joy , play often, and pursue adventure 4-Sure. Your brain will do the rest.
, play often, and pursue adventure 4-Sure. Your brain will do the rest.Last edited by Space; 11-02-2013 at 11:02 AM.
#15
11-06-2013, 10:38 AM
Your Choice 2 Read or Not ?
Words from `Space ?
(Your choice to read or not) I hope it helps someone ? It helps me!
Below is a compilations composed from materials gathered from several sources in life & from the web.
1. Realize that it’s okay to make mistakes. Just make sure to learn from them & not to repeat, forgive yourself `if it was not your intent to make a mistake and move on. It's the past & you hopefully have learned ?
2. Make your health and wellness a top priority and always take care of yourself so you’re ready to take care of others you love or care about. If you don't take care of yourself ?, who will ?
3. Follow your own path—not one that others want you to follow. Be the driver of your `life & drive `it to where you want to `be 4-Sure!~ Dream`it - Plan `it - Act `it ~ If your plan does work the first time, make another until you find the right plans to get you to where you want to `be 4-Sure!
4. Find the humor in life and laugh like there is no tomorrow. If you are alone > Look in2 your mirror (lol)...I laugh at myself all the time!
5. Relax and move with the flow of life by being unafraid of change. I don't mine the good changes inlife, it's the bad changes I don't like. Some changes are just out of ones control. Sometimes you just have to accept that somethings are out of your control. (Like the weather, your age, etc.)
6. Be adventurous by trying new things and taking more risks. Things that you've always wanted to try ? Like sky driving, scuba diving, racing on a track, etc (Take some time & think about the things you've always wanted to `do ? Do it now, what `if ? Really......
7. Have more intellectual curiosity and embrace creativity. Take time to learn about the things in life that you've always wanted to know ? The web is a great resurvey `if you are fortunate to be connected. (WoW)
8. Try to find happiness with as many different people as you can. The MCF is a great site to meet people from everywhere. Keep an open-mind and learn about others; their culture, their lifestyle, their cities, states, countries, planets & beyond ?
9. Think for yourself instead of letting other people’s opinions influence you. There will always be people that have opinions. Opinions are like rear`ends > Everybody has one, but some just stink more then others. LOL. I even heard that aliens have bad `gas or rocket fuel : )
10. Try not to judge people before you get to know them. Everyone judges or rates the people they meet in life ? Don't you ? Take time to get to know people. Your words do paint the pictures of you in the mind of the readers.
11. Be thankful for what you have now instead of thinking about what you don’t have 4-Sure! I think many people forget to do this & concentrate of what they want & forget about everything they have now. Enjoy your present of each new hours, day, month, year > `Life!
12. Wish well upon everyone equally and try to admire without envy. I do my best to wish all well, but I still envy those that have a new Stingray
! Be happy for others that are happy. Get to know them & learn how they became or found happiness in their human life ?13. Share your happiness with others instead of hoarding it all for yourself. "Sharing is Caring" . Do you care ? How many do you care `about. Caring is like being happy; you have to care about yourself before you care about others. You must `be happy with yourself, before you can be happy with others. Think about about it...Are these words `true ?
14. Don’t try to change someone—love who they are now. I try not to change others, but it's difficult when you see them doing something wrong, or `if they are hurting others with their acts or words. If they are negative & unhappy..I try to say or write words that may help them find the roads to happiness in life. We only get one `life ? Don't we ? What `if there's another one ? What `if there's not ? The unknown ?
15. Enjoy the journey, not just the destination. > I enjoy both.
16. Know that happiness is bigger than any bank account. > I know many wealthy people that would give up all they have to have good health & live without pain(s). I believe that just money can't buy happiness, but I believe that money can make a happy person > happier (lol)
17. Control negative thoughts so that they don’t contribute to the outcome of your life. I see so many negative people in my life & it makes me sad that they can't `be positive. (Go back to #14) I believe you are who you think you are ? If you think negative ?, you will be negative.
In my experience, I've never seen a negative person win, but I've seen many that have a positive attitude win at what they do in life. Your choice, your decision.
18. Use your energy wisely because spending energy complaining, worrying or being impatient is just wasted energy. 4-Really Sure!
19. Be bold. Find the courage to change things that should be changed and accept that there are some things that cannot be changed. I can not change you > you are the only one that can do that...I wish you positive changes in life.
20.Love your work. If you don’t currently love what you do, figure out what you would love, and take the first step toward that life. I believe a big part of happiness is doing something you love to do & getting paid $ for it...That's a big part of happiness to me.
21. Turn your discontent into a mystery and enjoy trying to solve it. I'm always working of this one. I try to make everyone in my life happy.
22. Face problems from different angles in order to find solutions.
23. Gain independence by realizing that on this earth we are all dependent upon each other. (To many are Dependant on the government or family & friends) They have never been taught to give `up to `get. They could not make it on their own
24. Change your perspective
by taking on a wider view of things. There's a big space out there & no one has been able to positively said where it ends. Maybe it is never ending ? (now, that's something to ponder in your free `time) There is an estimate that there are 40 Billion Planets out there that can support human life...Is `space really never ending ? (That's a topic for another time) 25. Don’t waste time trying to bring disagreeable people around to liking you. I've tried and failed many times, but for some unknown reason(s), I just keep on trying...It can be very frustrating!
26. Become the person you would like to spend the rest of your life with.
I wish there were more people like me (LOL) Don't you ? LOL
27. Be honest with yourself and others by saying what you mean and meaning what you say. "Speak `True & act your words"
28. Treat people with respect and compassion. > Always
29. Live in the now by loving the present and being aware of your thoughts and actions. Think happy thoughts and speak powerful words.
30. Try not to put things off until later. Do it now ? If you can (lol)
31. Never hold grudges. They will drag you down. Let Karma take over. "What goes around, comes around"
32. Face your fears head on and try to do the things that you think you cannot do. As long as you are not hurting yourself or others.
33. Spend time with people who make you happy while also not depending on other people for your own happiness. You become like the ones you spend time with ? "Misery loves company" > Happy people can make happier people. Invest your time/life with those that are happy. It does rub`off...Try `it > It's true!
34. Stand up for yourself and others and don’t let anyone or anything hold you back. Never purposely `Hurt yourself or others!!!!
35. Be yourself and love who you are now. Keep working on being better.
(There's always room for improvement) ? or is there ? (lol)
36. Be a participant in life rather than an observer.
37. Do the things that you love to do as much as you can ? when you can ? "Master you time & you will master your `Life"
38. Write out a list of goals and achieve them by doing them step by step. Don’t give up when things get difficult. (Easier said then done), but nothing good in human life is easy...
39. Do something every day that makes you feel proud of yourself—commit random acts of kindness whenever you get the chance.
40. And always keep on moving forward toward your dreams. `amen
Last edited by Space; 11-07-2013 at 06:40 AM.
#17
11-09-2013, 05:20 AM
Filling in the Empty `Space with E.Z. Listening
I've been listening to a variety of different `tunes while
online as background music.
Below is just one example...I enjoy & thought that you
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online as background music.
Below is just one example...I enjoy & thought that you
might also
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#18
11-10-2013, 08:52 AM
> Happiness ? Are U Happy ? <
10 Truths You Will Learn Before You Find Happiness 
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say,and what you do are in harmony." `Gandhi
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Along my own journey of self-actualization, I’ve witnessed dozens of great people discover their own paths to happiness and self-fulfillment, and I’ve noticed many common themes emerge. In all cases, the happiness they discover and gradually develop internally is seeded by the realization of certain fundamental truths.
It seems we are all here to realize these truths, in our own way, in our own time. And once they resonate fully, not just intellectually, but emotionally and spiritually, we are then able to find the happiness and peace we seek…
1. It’s impossible for anyone else to define YOU.
It seems we are all here to realize these truths, in our own way, in our own time. And once they resonate fully, not just intellectually, but emotionally and spiritually, we are then able to find the happiness and peace we seek…
1. It’s impossible for anyone else to define YOU.
You are indefinable. You are the only one in this world who gets to say who you are. Circumstances and the opinions of others can only define you if you allow them to. Do not give away your power and the magic of your essence by putting weight on negative situations in your life or the negative words of other people.
2. You were born with everything you need.
2. You were born with everything you need.
There is nothing you are missing. There is no need to frantically become more, be more, do more, or get more. You are whole and complete, and were gifted every talent and insight you needed to thrive in this world in the moment you were born. Your only job is to accept this truth and then allow it to unfold. Some gifts don’t become apparent until later in life. Some insights only become clear to you once you have life experiences that unlock such wisdom from within you. Trust in this and relax.
3. Perfection is a man-made illusion.
3. Perfection is a man-made illusion.
We are beautifully imperfect beings, operating in a very imperfect world, and that is just the way it is meant to be. Striving for perfection is a hollow goal, one that can never be achieved. Society shows us doctored images of perfection constantly in marketing, media, opinions and expectations. Do not buy into this illusion; it will only lead you into darkness. Embrace your quirks, your flaws and the fact that life is a roller coaster at times. Strive for excellence, have high standards… but never confuse that with the crippling behavior of perfectionism.
4. You are NOT your thoughts.
4. You are NOT your thoughts.
You are the witnessing essence and consciousness behind the noise in your mind. Your mind doesn’t define you, nor does it control you. It is not who you are. As soon as you recognize this, by watching your thoughts like an intrigued third-party observer, you will create instant distance from those thoughts and therefore no longer be identified with or enslaved by them. (Read
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5. Your beliefs can be modified to lift you up.
.)5. Your beliefs can be modified to lift you up.
Whatever you believe to be true about yourself and life in the long-term becomes your reality. Your beliefs are ingrained patterns of thinking that you build up over a lifetime. They are habitual ways of processing the world around you. If those beliefs don’t work in your favor, you can change them. How? In the very same way the negative beliefs formed in the first place – via repetitive thoughts that you accepted to be the truth. Ingrain new beliefs by consciously choosing and repeating messages that lift you up.
6. The past and future don’t exist.
6. The past and future don’t exist.
Now is the moment. The past is just a memory. The future is a mental projection. You can choose to dwell back in the past for learning and joyous reflection. You can choose to dwell in the future for visualization and practical planning. However, any time your awareness floats away to the past or future frequently for negative purposes, you are suffocating your ability to thrive in the only moment you ever have… the now. Past and future literally do not exist right now – feel the freedom in this truth.
7. Your calling in life is to fully express who you already are.
The world will never see another human being like you. There is no one on the face of the planet that has what you have. Your uniqueness, in every respect, is your gift. Life asks one thing of you… to be the full expression of yourself so that you can leave your unique imprint on all those you encounter and upon the world. Never underestimate the power of your energy and how it ripples outwards to affect everything and everyone around you – IF you are being your full, authentic self. Honor your intuition and act upon all your inspirations.
8. Challenges are gifts for your growth.
8. Challenges are gifts for your growth.
Without challenges you cannot unlock your full potential. Obstacles are opportunities for growth. The world needs the fullness of who you are, and it is through your experiences in life that you unfold into that fullness. How can you demonstrate willpower and strength if your resolve has never been tested? How can you role model love and compassion if you have never faced the opposite? Knowing there is a higher purpose within dark times, is what leads you to be at peace in the midst of those storms, knowing that you are a diamond being forged under pressure.
9. Forgiveness is choosing happiness over hurt.
9. Forgiveness is choosing happiness over hurt.
We do not forgive others in order to free them of the situation, burden, guilt or regret. We forgive others to free ourselves and walk into compassion and love by doing so. It is in freeing ourselves that our energy level rises, our consciousness rises, and in doing so those around us benefit too. The words of forgiveness have a positive impact on those we forgive, but ultimately forgiveness is a choice that allows us to be happy again. This goes for both forgiveness of others and forgiveness of self.
10. Surrender is the essence of a happy life.
10. Surrender is the essence of a happy life.
Letting go is not giving up. Letting go is surrendering any obsessive attachment to particular people, outcomes and situations. Surrender means showing up every day in your life with the intention to be your best self, and to do the best you know how, without expecting life to go a certain way. Have goals, have dreams, aspire and take purposeful action, but detach from what life must look like.
The energy of someone aspiring to create their dreams, teamed with surrender, is far more powerful and creative than someone determined to create outcomes with a desperate ‘must have’ mentality. Surrender brings inner peace and joy, and lest we forget that our outer lives are a reflection of our inner state of being.
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The energy of someone aspiring to create their dreams, teamed with surrender, is far more powerful and creative than someone determined to create outcomes with a desperate ‘must have’ mentality. Surrender brings inner peace and joy, and lest we forget that our outer lives are a reflection of our inner state of being.
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I hope that you enjoyed reading the above ?
I hope that you enjoy your `Now
I hope that you enjoy your `Now
Last edited by Space; 11-10-2013 at 09:09 AM.
#19
11-13-2013, 10:02 AM
How to Save Yourself from Toxic People
How to Save Yourself from Toxic People
Edited by Iqbal Osman, Teresa, Mike Massaroli, Fianchetto and 14 others
You're in the best of moods and the day feels just great. Suddenly you feel sapped of energy and your spirits have been dampened. The source of the deflation? You've just encountered someone who has a bad attitude and it has cast a pall over your own mood. While it's a personal choice to seek to deflect the negative moods of others, it's not always that easy – emotions are contagious and we're programmed to empathize with others around us and to tune into their emotions.
The negative moods and thinking of a toxic person are pervasive – nervous energy, anger, sadness, complaints, clinginess, a view of the world constantly tinged with negativity. And if you happen to be caught up with toxic people daily in your life, by letting their negativity get to you, it can erode your own sense of self and deflate even the most optimistic outlook. Constantly negative emotions can lead to illness and a shortened lifespan – toxic personalities are not healthy for themselves or for you. And since misery loves company, miserable people will try to drag you into their fold; however, take charge of defending yourself and learn how to break free from toxic attitudes around you, to sustain your healthy, fulfilling, and optimistic outlook.
EditSteps
Edited by Iqbal Osman, Teresa, Mike Massaroli, Fianchetto and 14 others
You're in the best of moods and the day feels just great. Suddenly you feel sapped of energy and your spirits have been dampened. The source of the deflation? You've just encountered someone who has a bad attitude and it has cast a pall over your own mood. While it's a personal choice to seek to deflect the negative moods of others, it's not always that easy – emotions are contagious and we're programmed to empathize with others around us and to tune into their emotions.
The negative moods and thinking of a toxic person are pervasive – nervous energy, anger, sadness, complaints, clinginess, a view of the world constantly tinged with negativity. And if you happen to be caught up with toxic people daily in your life, by letting their negativity get to you, it can erode your own sense of self and deflate even the most optimistic outlook. Constantly negative emotions can lead to illness and a shortened lifespan – toxic personalities are not healthy for themselves or for you. And since misery loves company, miserable people will try to drag you into their fold; however, take charge of defending yourself and learn how to break free from toxic attitudes around you, to sustain your healthy, fulfilling, and optimistic outlook.
EditSteps
1
Discover your current attitudes towards life in general. There is no point in striving to be progressive and successful, when you yourself possess the negative energy that holds you back. Take stock of your actions and words. If your own behaviors head in the direction of self-pity and pessimism (a self-perceived victim status), it's time to re-track and start over by making a choice to adopt more optimistic beliefs and attitudes. Life will give you what you expect, so that your expectations need to be balanced with realistic measures and a more positive framework. This starts with you as a person beforelooking to blame others for your failures and miseries.
2
Learn to pick up on the energy (or vibes) around you. Besides knowing yourself well, you need to know how you feel when toxic people are around you. You probably already know how to do this but learn to make it a conscious act, not just an unconscious reaction. For example, think about how you feel when you walk into a business where everyone is friendly and cannot do enough to engage you in casual conversation. Then, think about walking into a business where the mood is sour, the assistants are barely able to mumble a hello to you and appear to have other things to do than to engage with you, their faces filled with resentment and a desire to be anywhere than where they are. The energy in both cases is enormously different and you pick up on it immediately. It is the same with individuals; you will grow to consciously notice when you feel immediately uplifted or plunged downward by the people in your presence and you can take steps to make choices about how to react once you recognize these feelings.
3
Recognize the toxic personality types. We all have our down days, and each of us is prone to the blues now and then. However, when it comes to toxic people, the blues appear to be a permanent state of being and feeling down, glum, angry, etc., becomes a primary personality trait rather than a temporary state of mind. The following toxic personality types are ones to be on the watch for:- Angry at life: A person who is always angry, blowing up, shouting, and reacting to everyone in a volatile manner is a toxic person. They need a lot of help but you don't need to be their battering board. Staying around a person like this will cause you to become angry too, to see slights where there are none, to react instead of reflecting, and to fear things.
- Everything in the world is rotten: A person with this worldview is always down and always finds the dark side in everything. And they love miserable company; the more dark thinkers agreeing with their conspiracies and frightening theories, the better. Oddly enough, this person will often be competitive about their misery, trying to outdo any other person's misery. Prone to seeing other people's mistakes as enormous transgressions (and therefore cannot forgive) and to fearing that people are going to let them down/let them go at any moment, they live in constant state of fate-determining negativity and lack hope. Since they don't feel capable of changing their trajectory, they'll try to drag you in with them.
- Attention seekers: Insecure, unable to create their own sense of self-worth, and emotionally immature, this person is a "clinger". They want your attention, they want it when they want it (now!) and they need to be at the center of everything. This person's constant need to be heard and rescued will wear you down eventually and their inability to settle down and take a good, long hard look at themselves means that they try to suck the energy and life from elsewhere, namely from you.
- Gossips: "When all else in your own life fails, spill the beans on other people's misfortunes" is the motto of this difficult character. Instead of keeping confidences and being supportive, this person allows envious feelings to get the better of them instead of rechannelling their envious feelings. Unfortunately, gossip feels exciting to those receiving it initially, but it's like a sugar high- it soon crashes and the nasty after-effects harm everyone. If you have found yourself caught up with a gossip and you've enabled them or benefited from them, don't get hung up on worrying about your complicity; forgive yourself, make a choice to only speak well of others from this point on, and remove yourself form their sphere.
- Fearful frighteners: Worry, anxiety, "what ifs", and fear push this personality. Everything in life, from relationships to crossing the road, holds some potential for fear and terror, and this person's anxiety is unfortunately very contagious.
- Angry at life: A person who is always angry, blowing up, shouting, and reacting to everyone in a volatile manner is a toxic person. They need a lot of help but you don't need to be their battering board. Staying around a person like this will cause you to become angry too, to see slights where there are none, to react instead of reflecting, and to fear things.
4
Take a look at the company you keep (or attract). Looking at the list in the previous step, analyze friendships, family relationships, working colleagues and decide objectively just how healthy these people are in terms of your overall well-being and composure. Do they bring out the best in you or do you serve as a sponge for all their problems and miseries? If the latter is the case, for your own sanity and well-being, let them go. This might be really hard initially because of the expectations and sense of obligationthat builds up in relationships but staying with people who lead you into constant misery isn't going to be rewarded, so don't subject yourself to it. Disengage yourself from their company politely by minimizing contact until a healthy distance can be maintained. You need this time to ponder and reflect on saving and preserving yourself, drawing on the optimism, hope and positive energy you have within.- There is a primal instinct in each of us to mirror others we're with. It's a survival and a social technique. And if that mirror is murky, negative, and lacking in self-esteem, it's a mirror you need to throw a drape over for the sake of self-protection and moving forward. Remember that you can't change another person, only yourself, so don't bog yourself down with excuses about being responsible for them or feeling pity for them. You can only truly help a negative person when you're no longer influenced by them.
5
Listen selectively when engaging in any conversation. Seek to hold onto the positive and constructive aspects of any conversation. Train your mind to consciously throw out the bad essence of the conversation. It becomes a matter of choosing what it is you wish to dwell on; allow the good side to hold stronger for you and to serve as the thoughts you focus and ponder on. When negative Ned starts getting really trying, return positive energy through positive words or suggestions that are supportive. Doing this creates a space between you; while the other person may be internally struggling to refute to your positive insistence, it is clear to them that you aren't going to be won over to the dark side!- Create a personal signal to remind yourself to keep deflecting the negative conversation and signals beamed at you from a toxic personality. It might be pulling a piece of your hair, digging your thumbnail into your palm, flicking your wrist, tapping your knee, etc. This minor action is a protective mechanism to remind you to consciously note that negativity is being sent your way and to make a conscious effort to refuse it entry into or lodgings in your own thoughts.
- When dealing with blamers, shift the perspective. While the toxic personality wants another person to take the blame for a situation, stay calm and keep insisting that the problem be solved instead of discussing whose fault it is. Seeking to blame someone keeps things static, and stuck in time, and a solution won't be found because it has been lost from sight and the blamer doesn't want to take responsibility for improving their own situation anyway. Stick to the facts and point out what needs to be done to fix a problem. If they become hot-headed or violent, remove yourself from them and allow them the space to calm down.
- Use empathy and compassion with those who seek to spread fear. Limit your exposure to their fear talk by turning their negative talk back on itself. For example, if they insist that your business venture is going to fail, ask them "Well, what if it doesn't?". Help them to see the possibilities rather than endless negatives. And when they really get to you, see their fear as a form of being upset and tell yourself over and over again that this is their reaction, not yours, and that you have the choice to remain grounded and true to your goals.
- Always remind yourself that negative emotions have a time limit; they do not last, they will soon pass. You do not need to carry the ball of negativity with you beyond the encounter.
6
Develop a beautiful mind. This can be achieved by accepting the reality of things that cannot be changed. Let bygones be where they belong – in the historical archives of repressed memory. If these emotions become too difficult to attain closure, seek help to close this chapter fully and finally. In this way, you won't allow the negative thoughts to fester and control your present and future self; understanding and learning to accept what has been as a lesson in growth rather than a crystallization of who you in time for all time is the way to break free from negativity. Acceptance forms a great part of this beautiful mind, bringing closure and leaving the mind and body free to achieve a more fruitful and higher quality lifestyle.- Take up practices that help to ground you. Some things that might help you includemeditation, yoga, reflection in nature, martial arts, endurance sports, a hobby that fulfills a passion, etc. Find something that calms and centers you and to which you can retreat when you need to re-energize yourself.
7
Know what your needs and desires are. Take time to decipher what is important to you. Know what your likes and dislikes are and develop some idea of where you would like to see yourself in the future. Write down your plans on paper. Paste it on a wall where you can constantly remind yourself and stay focused. This will also help you when times get tough and you feel the gripping desire to fall back into older negative habits. More importantly, knowing what you want in life acts as a shield to prevent you from taking on board other people's expectations for you and treating those as your own instead. By all means remain open to hearing what others have to say but don't be swayed by what doesn't fit with your needs and desires, or by what stops you from being true to yourself.
8
Stick to your own beliefs and be comfortable with yourself. The doubts, regrets, and misgivings that others feel should be of no consequence to you and the paths you follow in life. It is commonplace to hear such comments as "My parents wanted me to do X, so I did", or "My spouse wanted to go to X city, so we did" and then to see the speaker behave as if their life were determined by someone else's choices. Or, there is the perennial "If only I had done things differently, I'd be famous/rich/important by now, but X held me back." None of these thoughts about the past are helpful to the person you are now: Don't allow other people or their preferences to serve as your excuse for a lack of an internal moral compass and set of beliefs. Your faith and confidence in your own beliefs will get you to where you want to be. Once again, listen if you have to, but do it selectively. Keeping away from people who confuse you is the next very best choice to make – make excuses to stay away.- At times, you will need to make compromises with the people close to you or who impact your professional life but do so knowingly and confidently, and not because you feel bludgeoned into making choices by a toxic personality.
9
Find like minded people. As we all know, no person is an island – we humans are social creatures. As time progresses, your entire being will become accustomed tohappy and wholesome interactions. What you will discover when you focus on sustaining an optimistic mindset and refusing to dwell on the negativity is that you will attract people with a similar mindset to you. Mingle with company that helps you to develop a healthy body and mind – be with optimistic, upbeat, and happy people. The more time spent with people of this nature, the happier and brighter you will feel. Their nourishing, healthy, and positive attitudes are contagious in a good way and will help you to stay on an even keel. Equally, once you reach the point whereby anything or anyone who disrupts your sense of balance and inner peace starts to irritate you, you know how to politely deflect them, and this confirms that you're well on your way to a greater and more contented life.- Pass it on. Use the inspirational example of the more positive people in your life to guide yourself away from the toxic thought dwellers. In turn, become more like the optimistic people by seeing the best in others and complimenting the good you see in people. Be the source of a "healthy chain of emotions" by remaining upbeat when interacting with others; accept and give compliments with thankfulness,maintain eye contact with them, and smile.
10
Strive to become one with yourself, the environment and your needs. This may be difficult at the onset but given time, the routine of seeing everything as a wonder and finding the good and positive in everyday interactions will eventually fall into place. A calm and collected mind is ingenious and complements productive and sensible thinking.
Last edited by Space; 11-13-2013 at 10:22 AM.
#20
11-26-2013, 11:15 AM
>The Power of a Positive Attitude<
- THE POWER OF A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
CAN GOOD THOUGHTS LEAD TO GOOD HEALTH?
How many times have you heard a friend, co-worker, spouse or significant other say, “Think positive” when you are feeling depressed, angry, anxious, frustrated or just down-right negative?Usually it’s the last think you want to hear at the moment, but it could possibly be the best thing you could do for both your emotional and physical health!
Positive attitude, positive thinking, and optimism are now known to be a root cause of many positive life benefits.Studies show positive people can experience an increased life span, lower rates of depression, lower levels of stress, greater resistance to the common cold, better overall well-being, reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease and better coping skills during times of hardship and stress.In his, A Primer in Positive Psychology, Christopher Petersen, PhD, says, “...optimism has demonstrable benefits, and pessimism has drawbacks.” He goes on to say, “...optimism...has been linked to positive mood and good morale; to perseverance and effective problem solving; to academic, athletic, military, occupational, and political success; to popularity; to good health; and even to long life and freedom from trauma.”It seems people with a positive attitude simply live longer, happier, healthier, more successful lives… and who doesn’t want that!!
Attitude is defined as the mental position that represents an individual's degree of like or dislike for an item – a generally positive or negative view of a person, place, thing, or event.A positive attitude is, therefore, the inclination to generally be in an optimistic, hopeful state of mind.However,attitudes are expected to change as a function of experience – so someone with a typically negative attitude can change!
Overall, people with a positive attitude are optimists and believe they are accountable for good things and that good things will generally come their way. If something bad comes instead, optimists tend to write it off as an isolated incident, an anomaly, or something out of their control.They continue to believe things will be better in the future.A pessimist is a person who nurtures a consistently negative attitude, expecting the worst of people and of situations.This outlook can persist regardless of facts or circumstances that might indicate a more balanced or positive reality.
However, your way of thinking, whether positive or negative, is a habit… and habits can be changed!But it takes practice.If your first thoughts about the meaning of something that has happened are negative thoughts, take the first step toward a positive attitude by simply recognizing your thoughts as negative and trying to create a more positive thought. Thoughts are always under your control and can be changed!The following steps can also help you create a more positive attitude.
- Let go of the assumption that the world is against you, or that you were born with a gray cloud over your head. It is an assumption that has no basis in reason or science.The sooner you can attribute your pessimism to a unique set of circumstances rather than the state of the world itself, the easier it'll be to change your perspective.
- Understand that the past does not equal the future. Just because you've experienced pain or disappointment in the past does not guarantee that everything else that starts badly will end badly. Do not make a bad start turn into a self fulfilling prophecy for a bad ending.
- See yourself as a cause, not an effect. You don't have to be a product or a victim of your circumstances. Stop thinking about what is happening to you and start thinking about what you can make happen. If you're not happy with the way your life is now, set goals and get moving!Use your past negative experiences to build character and make better decisions. Life involves taking many risks every day, and not all of them will end positively. That's what defines risk. But the flip side is that some actions will lead to good results, and it's generally better to have a mixed bag than to have nothing at all. Ideally, the good stuff will outweigh the bad, but you never reach that point unless you put yourself out there.
- Use positive affirmations. Write down short statements that remind you of what you're trying to change about the way you see the world. Put them in places where you'll see them every day, such as on your bathroom mirror, the inside of your locker, on your computer monitor, or even taped to your shower wall. Some affirmations to start with are: “Anything is possible.”, “My circumstances do not create me, I create my circumstances.”, “The only thing I can control is my attitude towards life.”, “I always have a choice.”, and “I choose to live the positive side of life.”
- Remember that life is short. When you feel pessimism clouding your judgment or you start to feel down about the future, remind yourself that every minute counts, and any time spent brooding guarantees nothing but less time to enjoy whatever life might have to offer. At its core, pessimism is impractical because it causes you to spend time dwelling on things that haven't happened yet and aren't guaranteed to happen, and it prevents you from getting things done. Pessimism breeds indecision. It's a waste of time, and time is a limited resource that you can't afford to take for granted.
- Finally, be a balanced optimist. Nobody's suggesting that you become an oblivious Pollyanna, pretending that nothing bad can or ever will happen. Doing so can lead to poor decisions and invites people to take advantage of you. Instead, be a rational optimist who takes the good with the bad, in hopes of the good ultimately outweighing the bad, and with the understanding that being pessimistic about everything accomplishes nothing. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best - the former makes you sensible, and the latter makes you an optimist.
Tips
- Use quotes to remind yourself how to be optimistic. Remember sayings like, “Even the longest journey begins with a single step”, “Life has a way of reminding one that it can be worse”, “Until one understands the low and darker side of life, the appreciation of the awe-inspiring highs will remain stagnant” and “Every cloud has a silver lining.”
- Look happy.Studies have shown that putting a positive expression on your face can actually make you feel happier and more optimistic about the future.
- Practice by conveying these ideas to others. If someone is being pessimistic, talk about changing negative attitudes. Sometimes it's easier to understand a perspective if you have to explain it to others.
- No matter how odd this may sound, listen to optimistic music (that you like) and read books that have at least a little optimism in them.And avoid cynical/pessimistic entertainment – you are what you watch.
- Pass a blessing on to a friend or stranger; let somebody have that parking space, let somebody in front of you in line at the market.Doing nice things for others is an instant positive pick me up.
- Only you can make the situation better, so smile and make the situation better!
- Count your blessings, each and every little one. Focusing on the good things in your life, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, will help frame a better attitude and take your mind off of the negatives.
- Try to avoid negative people. If you can't avoid them, learn how to not let them get you down.
- Everyone has their times of weakness. You may stumble at times and go back into bad habits but never give up and gradually you will succeed.
- Don't confuse pessimism with depression. Depression can make everything look worse than it is.If you are depressed, seek help!
- While it is true that you create your own circumstances, accept that the past is the past. Don't let negative circumstances trigger irrational guilt or pessimism.
- Realize that it's not about what happens to you, it's about how you react to what happens.
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