Space, you always seem to make an appropriate topic for the issue I'm struggling with each day. Thank you for that.

 

 

 

Self-Pity


Self-pity is the state of feeling sorry for yourself. When you have this PMS >“poor me syndrome" or victim mentality, your focus is on your pain, sorrow and suffering; almost always exaggerating them. You feel like a victim and the unfortunate one; the one and only person who have to undergo great misfortunes, the helpless soul.
Two favorite statements are “Why Me?” and “You don’t understand.” You are so engrossed in your private world, seeing only your struggles and agonizing over them. You compare yourself to other people. Very often you wonder why good things only happen to others while you seem to put up with one calamity after another.

This state of mind makes you feel angry and jealous toward others, sometimes assuming that people look down upon your lack and inadequacy.
1. Take a Different Outlook.


It’s not because of luck, fate or favoritism. Everyone goes through bad experiences, many as far as their childhood years. In this case, you are not special or the chosen one. It’s more due to the way you perceive events, people and yourself and how you handle your life’s situation. It’s because you have the wrong attitude of mind. You attracted misery into your life by your wrong focus of attention.
One of the ways to overcome self-pity is to change your attitude or the way you think and see things. Take some time to contemplate. Listen to your self talk. Notice your mental . You are probably talking about and seeing your problems, failures and lack. You must change these silent chatters and negative mental images with positive and affirmative statements and images.

2. Stop Expecting Sympathy.

Do you go around telling other people how unfortunate you are? If your friends or family members avoid you, it’s because they don’t want to have to go through your pity party each time they are around you. People are generally sympathetic. But too much emphasis on self-pity makes people sick of hearing your tales of anguish, whines and neediness. People who understand and appreciate life and living don’t want to hang around those who have negative vibes because these vibrations can sap their positive energy and affect their states of mind 4-Sure.!





3. Don’t Compare.

Comparing yourself to others is one of the reasons that you feel inadequate. Look at your strengths and see how you can improve or make use of them. Start where you are, take one step at a time and build yourself gradually.

When you look at other people’s achievements, observe how and what they do to reach the level that they have reached instead of feeling envious. Study their strategies, beliefs and actions. These people have done some things that allow them to have more joy. Emulate the good.


4. Help Others.

The trouble with people who feel sorry for themselves is that they don’t notice that there are other people who are going through real sufferings. There are people who are grieving over the loss of loved ones and those who have been struck by a tragedy or disaster. One of the ways to get out of this self centeredness and the “look at pitiful me” is to go out there and help people who are less fortunate and in need of support, guidance and assistance.

5. Forgive and Forget the Painful Past. It’s Behind.

Stop the blame game. It doesn’t matter what has happened in the past. Let go and start anew. When you playback your painful past, you will feel melancholic. If you continue to focus on it, you will give in to your emotions and feel more disheartened. Forgive those who have hurt you and forgive yourself for the things that you should not have said or done.

6. Develop the Attitude of Gratitude.

By developing the attitude of gratitude, you will be able to gradually change your focus of attention and stop self-pity. Make it a habit to look for something good that is happening or existing in your life right now and write them down. If at first you think that there is nothing to be grateful for, try harder.

Additional Resources.

• Thoughts Become Things" target="_blank">Thoughts Become Things
  Thoughts Become Things">Thoughts Become Things" /> Thoughts Become Things">Thoughts Become Things
• The Law of Attraction
• A Life of Gratitude – 21 Days to Overcoming Negativity" target="_blank">A Life of Gratitude – 21 Days to Overcoming Negativity
  A Life of Gratitude – 21 Days to Overcoming Negativity">A Life of Gratitude – 21 Days to Overcoming Negativity" /> A Life of Gratitude – 21 Days to Overcoming Negativity">A Life of Gratitude – 21 Days to Overcoming Negativity

 

 

Ha Space funny thread here. I'm like the perpetual negative guy. I live by the "If something can go wrong it will philosophy". My standard motto is "Don't worry, nothing will be okay". I'm the eternal Murphy's law cadet, I beleive there are benefits to being a gloom and doom person, as one can prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Let Negativity LIVE!! LOL

This one article by Eric Haseltine, Ph.D. in Pscyhology Today kind of insinuates the same line of thinking.

According to Greek mythology, Cassandra, a princess of Troy, had mislead Apollo into thinking that she'd give more than worship at his temple. So Apollo punished her by simultaneously granting her the gift of prophesy and the curse of never being believed.

Anyone who‘s tried to tell a coworker that their drinking would get them fired, to caution a friend that that their girlfriend would dump them, or to warn a teenager about, well, anything, knows how Cassandra must have felt. People just don't want to hear gloomy forecasts.

Psychologists have different theories about why we ignore bad news. Freud believed that we unconsciously tune out information (such as we're drug addicts or poor judges of character) that threaten our egos. Another idea is that we'd rather feel good than bad, and that disbelieving bad news simply makes us happier. My own belief is that we have to work hard work to prevent looming disasters, so our instinct to conserve energy (so we won't starve to death) leads us down the path of least resistance (or into that river psychotherapists call "de-nial").

But it doesn't matter why we ignore bad news, the fact is that most of us do, and this creates big opportunities for the rare people who don't.

The most salient example of someone who prospered by accepting the possibility of disaster was a pig. We don't know his name, only that he was a diminutive pig living near two other small porcines who built their houses from sticks and straws respectively. When the neighborhood wolf came calling, the predator was able to blow down the flimsy straw and stick houses and eat their short-sighted occupants. But our nameless pig, who'd built his house of brick because he believed that bad things could happen, survived the encounter with the wolf to go on, so we are lead to believe, to live a long and happy piggy life.

Prior to the same economic meltdown that Ford survived, hedge fund manager John Paulson thought it was likely that the housing bubble (artificially high housing prices) would collapse, so he directed his company to "short" mortgage-backed securities ( Paulson and Company contracted to sell securities at a future date at current market prices while buying those same securities in the future at much lower prices). Paulson's vision was accurate and his company reaped huge profits when the mortgage market collapsed.

The Paulson case illustrates two important points about what it takes to be a visionary: First, if you allow yourself to think the unthinkable, you'll probably find big opportunities that others miss, precisely because others don't want to think the thoughts you're thinking.

The second attribute you must have as a visionary is thick skin. Before the fact, your prognostications of doom will elicit skepticism and scorn; after the fact they'll probably bring out jealousy ,even rage that you profited from others' misfortune (Paulson is not a popular guy right now).

 

Thanks `Greg for your thoughts, words & looking at the other side of the coin. I do think John Paulson's negative message/view was popular to those that have opened their minds & followed his direction + profited from his view/knowledge with positive results.